Seasons Out Of Time
by SaturnineSunshine
Summary: In a universe where bloodlines are paramount and family obligation is everything, one encounter makes all the difference. Age is no judge for experience.
1. Prologue: November, 2007

_**November, 2007**_

He didn't think anything had gone wrong. In fact, he was quite content with how things had worked out. He was surrounded by all the debauchery he could ever want at the opening night of Victrola. This was it. He knew there couldn't be anything missing.

And yet, there was still something…. strange.

Something was off.

He could feel it. Especially when her eyes were on him.

For a moment, he wasn't even sure if it was her. She stood at the balcony,

her hair black in the dim lighting of the club. Red lights flashed across her face, and he saw her dark eyes on him.

He didn't know what she was doing there. Her eyes flashed at him as she made her way down the stairs.

He was in her sights. He leaned forward on the couch, eyes his following her as she made her way through the crowd, an expression of general distaste marking her features.

"Bass."

Hand on her hip; her voice cut through the din condescendingly.

"Blair Waldorf," Chuck said, aware of the slight slur to his words. "Deigning to grace the common masses with her presence."

Her sigh was bored. She always liked making him feel like she was doing him a favor by speaking to him.

"It's the biggest party of the year."

He could tell she begrudged him that fact. And now she was obligated to show up at a _strip joint_.

How midtown.

He still couldn't help but tease her.

"I never knew you were a fan of burlesque."

"You don't know me at all."

Tension was thick in her voice and Chuck sat back. He studied her and couldn't figure out why she was suddenly so antagonistic.

He smirked. "Because you're so unique?"

He liked the way she recoiled with offense.

"Meaning?"

"Women like to pretend they're complicated. I know better."

"I know that I bring notoriety to your little party," Blair sneered.

Chuck was drunk. Blair Waldorf was standing before him, taunting him, and he was drunk. He had to be. He wouldn't like this so much if he wasn't drunk.

"I forgot how nasty you could be," he said with admiration.

"I thought I was like every other woman," Blair sneered back. "I wouldn't expect you to remember anything about me."

"Just because we don't run in the same circles anymore, doesn't mean I forget."

"You're a sophomore, Chuck," Blair said patronizingly.

"And yet I've just opened a burlesque club."

"The Bass name does wonders in this town."

"Well it doesn't hold up to the standards that the Waldorfs have," Chuck retorted.

"You couldn't really expect it to," Blair replied coolly.

"And yet, here you stand."

"I have other motives for being here tonight."

"Pity," Chuck said. "It's the first conversation we've had since the eighth grade."

"Well, you were in seventh," Blair sneered.

"I wouldn't want to ruin your reputation by such a vast age difference," he drawled.

"Things change."

"Don't get nostalgic on me now," he taunted. "You were so close to convincing me that you really were a cold hearted bitch."

"Would you be surprised if I was?"

"What are you really doing here?" Chuck asked. "Maybe you'd like to grace us with a dance."

Blair's eyes narrowed dangerously.

"Goodbye, Bass."

And with that, the conversation was over.

He watched with pleasure as she walked away haughtily, unsure as to where any of it had come from. She receded into the crowd, as dramatically as she had come.

Chuck looked at the boy who had collapsed on the couch next to him.

"Aren't you a little young to be here?"

"Young?"

"You're fifteen," Chuck replied.

"Which works in my favor when the owner of the club is my best friend."

Chuck smirked. "What are you doing here, Tyler?"

Tyler's expression was almost imperceptible in the club, his brown-black eyes and hair lost in the darkness of the club.

He could express as much innocence as he wanted, but Chuck knew that there was only one reason Tyler was slouched so low.

"Hiding."

"Not that peroxide psycho again," Chuck sighed. "I thought you learned your first lesson after she stalked you for a day and a half."

"Never again am I going to take freshman up to the roof," Tyler replied. "She thinks we're betrothed."

"With freshmen you get what you paid for."

"Exactly," Tyler replied. "Besides. I am avoiding a more cunning and deceptive adversary."

"Right," Chuck realized. "I suppose she approves of this venue even less than she does your penchant for older women."

"Well, I learned from the best," Tyler grinned. "Did you see her here?"

Chuck paused. "Not to my recollection."

"I guess I can't expect you to notice anything that you don't have the intention of bedding," Tyler rolled his eyes.

"Then maybe I did see her," Chuck taunted.

"That's not funny," Tyler said. "That's my sister you're talking about."

"It is."

"That's my sister."

"I know—" But Chuck realized Tyler wasn't even engaged in the conversation anymore. He was staring up and sure enough, there she was staring down at them from the balcony.

Again.

"Isn't that my sister?"

Blair glared down at them, her dark eyes penetrating them coldly.

Tyler Waldorf stared in disbelief at his older sister, surprised that she had even considered setting foot in a club so filled with debauchery.

Chuck took a swig of his drink. "I have no idea."

* * *

><p>a.n. This is a reupload since I had to tweak it a little bit. But it's the same content. So enjoy again ;)<p> 


	2. December 2009, Winter

**_December, 2009_**

"Are we really obligated to go to this thing?" Chuck Bass fingered the joint he was holding regretfully, only vaguely aware of his best friend getting ready.

"You're not anticipating attending one of Eleanor Waldorf's famous soirees?" Tyler asked sarcastically, finishing his tie.

"Being treated like an inmate doesn't exactly make me in the cordial mood," Chuck said dryly, pocketing his paraphernalia.

"Inmate?" Tyler asked laughingly. "She doesn't hate you that much."

"I am a guest in her house and she makes sure I know it," Chuck said. "And by guest, I mean the depraved son of new money Bart Bass who she is sure her own son takes upon as a charity case."

"She doesn't think that."

"No, _you_ don't think that," Chuck corrected. "She definitely thinks that."

"If she thought that, then she wouldn't let you stay here," Tyler reasoned. "You do have a suite at The Palace."

"That is Lily's doing, I assure you," Chuck said. "Eleanor doesn't want to lose Lily van der Woodsen's social contact, even if her new husband is from Brooklyn."

"And her biological child?" Tyler asked. "Where's Eric? Isn't he technically her son too?"

Chuck ignored his friend's attempt at humor.

"He's with Jonathon."

"Lily is okay with that?"

"Which part?"

"Eleanor only let Blair stay over at Nate's because he was an Archibald."

"You're questioning Lily's maternal instinct," Chuck pointed out. "Especially when she is vacationing in St. Barth's."

"My mistake."

"Speaking of which," Chuck said. "Where is the Ice Queen?"

"One guess," Tyler rolled his eyes.

"I guess I don't have to assume what you think of them together."

"I'm not the one who stopped hanging out with them," Tyler reminded him.

"It wasn't a personal choice," Chuck said. "No offense."

"I'm not offended," he replied. "I would rather hang out with me than that pretty boy anyway."

Chuck raised his eyebrows at him.

"Blair's not perfect," Tyler said. "She just pretends to be. And Nate actually believes that illusion."

"And that diminishes him in your eyes."

"He's an idiot," Tyler said. "My sister deserves better."

"Yes."

Tyler paused, looking at Chuck curiously.

"No one can accuse me of being a fan of Nate Archibald," Chuck illuminated.

"You used to be."

"I also used to be friends with your sister," Chuck reminded him.

"Not according to her."

"Pardon me for not abiding by the world according to Blair Waldorf."

"I don't think that's the problem."

Chuck didn't like that Tyler thought there was one.

* * *

><p>Not even on the landing yet, Chuck could feel the eyes on him. He fell back as Tyler continued on to greet his mother. The eyes of cougars disguised as financial backers were all over him and he wished that he didn't know exactly why Eleanor was reprimanding his best friend.<p>

And suddenly it didn't matter.

The one thing arrived that put Chuck Bass' scandalous arrival to shame.

"Blair."

Chuck didn't need Tyler to tell him what everyone already knew.

She always liked the spotlight.

And she was definitely getting it with that dress.

Or maybe Chuck was the only one staring at her legs.

"Bass."

He didn't remember her exchanging pleasantries with the entire party before she deigned to speak coldly to the scourge of society.

"Waldorf. I see you're back from Yale."

"And I see even the cockroaches slip through the cracks," she sneered. "I didn't realize you were such a favorite of society matrons."

"Can you blame them? I show a good time." Chuck volleyed back. "You know how I love a party."

"I really don't," Blair retorted. "I'd rather not associate with you and your band of invalids."

"How do you know?" he asked coolly. "You've never tried it."

"You sure?"

For a moment, Chuck found himself tongue-tied. Even though it seemed that she had been lured to a burlesque show so little years before, he had been sure that was something completely out of character. But imagining the Virgin Queen sliding out of her prim dress for a strip tease was enough to make his mouth go dry—if that were ever to happen.

He was sure he was letting his imagination run away with him.

Again.

She seemed to have that effect on him.

Strange. He couldn't remember her ever able to do that before—besides that night.

Blair smirked at his prolonged silence. Taking it as a victory, she shouldered past him across the room to her brother. Chuck watched them embrace.

"You're here."

"I am."

"Mom didn't say anything."

Blair's face hardened momentarily.

"She didn't do it on purpose," Tyler protested hastily, able to decipher his sister's expression immediately.

"That obviously isn't true if you rush to her defense," Blair said. "It doesn't matter. She's just upset with me."

"She is?"

"Couldn't you tell with my warm reception?"

"That's just—"

"Her?" Blair finished.

"So why are you here?" Tyler asked. "I thought you were staying at the Vanderbilt Compound for the holidays."

"Probably the reason Mother is upset with me," Blair said, scanning the party.

"Because you're not with him," Tyler said.

"He's the only thing redeemable about me in her eyes."

"That's not—"

"So you're hanging out with Chuck Bass now?"

"I have been for a while," Tyler cheekily reminded her at her feigned ignorance and hasty change of subject.

Blair's eyes gazed cruelly across the room to the subject of their conversation. Chuck was having no problem chatting up the newest divorcee, Lydia Whitmore. Blair was surprised he even took the opportunity to wink at her across the room, toasting her lasciviously.

"Don't you have any normal friends?" Blair asked dryly, her eyes not leaving the devil across the room.

"He was your friend first."

"Don't remind me," Blair said dryly. "Aren't you friends with Eric anymore?"

"Aren't you friends with Serena?"

"Just be careful," Blair said swiftly, turning away. "Chuck uses people."

"Then we're a good match," Tyler taunted, even if his sister's reaction was peculiar. Blair rolled her eyes, walking from her brother and stalking past his best friend. Chuck tried to restrain himself from following her skirt with his eyes as she walked up the stairs.

"Don't worry about her."

Chuck turned quickly back to Tyler.

"Blair can be...Blair."

"I never worry about your sister."

"Maybe you should reevaluate."

Chuck looked doubtful.

"It sounds like she's out to get you," Tyler said teasingly.

"She just wishes she has a man that doesn't bore her to death."

"If you hadn't noticed," Tyler said, "Nate isn't anywhere around here. He's probably still at the compound."

"She abandoned her golden boy during the holidays?" Chuck asked. "I'll believe that when I see it."

Tyler's eyes followed Chuck's, still lingering on the balcony.

"Hey."

Chuck looked back at his best friend.

"She's staying for the break."

"I assumed."

"You're not going to become a problem, are you?" Tyler wasn't worried. Chuck knew this much. They knew each other enough to know that Chuck liked being difficult.

"A problem?"

"Please don't antagonize my sister."

"Why would I do that?"

"Because I know what sort of things you find amusing. She won't give you satisfaction."

"We'll see about that."

* * *

><p>"Hello, beautiful."<p>

To be honest, Blair was surprised that he wasn't in a smoking jacket while holding a glass of scotch. But he was leaning against her bathroom door as she was in her negligee nonetheless.

She was not amused.

"Are you lost, Bass?" Blair asked, putting her toothbrush down on the counter, mint coating the inside of her mouth.

"I am exactly where I need to be."

Blair wrinkled her nose. She shouldn't have been surprised that his breath smelled like single malt.

"If you're quite done leering—"

"So where is the charming Nathaniel?"

"Excuse me?" she asked at his direct question.

He always got right to the point when he had been drinking.

"Nate," Chuck reiterated slowly. "I thought the two of you would be practically engaged by now."

"That's your interpretation."

"He's not here."

"Your observation skills are perfect for the trade school that Lily will undoubtedly have no choice but to ship you off to."

"So where is he?" Chuck smirked, ignoring her jab.

"Hell if I know."

"Don't tell me the honeymoon's over," Chuck said, interloping into the tiled room.

"I'm not telling you anything," Blair answered, her eyes gauging him coolly.

"So convinced to keep me at arm's length," Chuck mused. Blair felt herself pressed up against the sink, his body so close she could feel his heat.

She didn't know why it mattered. She was aware of every move he played. All he wanted was to get underneath her skin. This wasn't about Chuck's love affair with whiskey or his insatiable lust for anything of the female persuasion.

This is what they did. They taunted and tore each other apart. It was just what they did. It was what they had always done. She couldn't see that ever changing.

"Just because you're Tyler's friend doesn't mean you're mine," Blair warned. It didn't deter him.

"So hostile," Chuck murmured. He was so close his voice was hushed. "We used to be."

"Don't you have someone else to torture?" Blair asked in that bored tone she had perfected specifically for him.

"And yet, I feel somehow compelled to choose you," Chuck laughed, his hand resting by her hip on the edge of the sink.

Her head leaned towards his and he smirked. He should have known better. She was vicious when she was crossed.

Her fingers laced through the hair at the back of his head and thrusted him away from her. He grimaced at the mild pain scalding across the back of his scalp.

"I'm not naïve like my brother," Blair said succinctly, pushing him away from the sink. He watched coolly from his safe distance. "You can't fool me."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Tyler is a Waldorf," Blair said. "You're beneath him. And I don't feel comfortable with letting you corrupt him."

She was so nonchalant.

"You really are a vindictive bitch."

She smiled. "Thank you."

He smiled back.

He knew she didn't like that.

"What?"

"You really do love him," Chuck said.

"Excuse me?"

"No matter what anyone else claims you are, you really are protective of him."

He turned away from her.

She hated how he always had to have the last word.

* * *

><p>"Blair."<p>

Her name wasn't met with the joy of a brother. She knew her mother's disappointment when she heard it.

She stopped just shy of the kitchen. She could already see Chuck Bass eating breakfast from her position around the corner.

"Mother."

"You disappeared last night."

"I—"

"When I agree that you are to come home for the holidays, you attend the events."

"Yes, Mother."

"You do not hide in the bathroom all night."

"I wasn't—"

"And put something more decent on."

Blair looked down at her attire. She knew it didn't usually matter that she was wearing a slip and a translucent robe. She knew what her mother was thinking before the words even left her mouth.

"That Bass boy is depraved," she said. "You don't want to encourage it. Go get dressed."

"Yes, Mother."

And still, as Blair turned to go back upstairs, she felt a dark slanting gaze, eying her lazily.

* * *

><p>AN: Sorry for such a delay, but I've been having this whole beta problem, but it's solved now, so I hope everyone can get into this fic.

Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me. Every single characters is either from the show or books of GG. With just some minor tweaks. Thanks to my beta for this story suspensegirl who is just amazing for basically saving my life and the life of this fic. Hooray.


	3. Winter II: Sister

A/N: So I hope things will start making sense with this for you guys. This is the shortest chapter I think I've written, but necessary. I hope you like!

Summary: "I couldn't pretend to understand the mind of a heathen like you," Blair said delicately. "I think you understand me more than you'd prefer to acknowledge," Chuck offered. "That's why you wonder what I think."

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine. Everything belongs to at least one GG universe. Thanks to my beta for this story, suspense girl.

* * *

><p>Chuck was never fooled by outward appearances. Especially when it came to the holidays. He knew better. And when it came to this particular one, there was no other truth than that. The lights could shine red and green and every color of the rainbow, but that didn't change the fact that a hushed voice was spouting angrily from the inside of the bathroom.<p>

He stood on the second floor of the penthouse, finding nothing better to do than listen to her lover's quarrel. It was better than being downstairs and feeling Eleanor Waldorf's cutting gaze.

Blair's was much better. As much as she hated him, at least she still respected him.

Christmas never fooled him.

"_You need to stop calling me."_

Chuck lounged against the railing, listening to her angry voice through the door casually.

"_Whatever you say won't change anything."_

He wondered if anyone else would be so entertained by it.

"_Next time, I won't pick up."_

The door snapped open and Chuck turned around smugly to see Blair's indignant eyes.

But that was the only attention he would get, because she went right along to ignoring him as she turned on her heel.

"Shouldn't you be stalking my brother?" she asked over her shoulder.

She just couldn't help herself. Even her cold shoulder came with a side of verbal barbs.

"He's helping your mother downstairs," Chuck spoke up. "There's never an event not to plan for."

He knew her statement was intended to be rhetorical, and yet Chuck couldn't pass up an opportunity to antagonize her. "I decided it was best to limit my proximity. I can't have her kick me out before Lily gets back. She doesn't like me much."

"My mother doesn't like anyone," Blair said. "Except Tyler."

"He is the exception."

"I'm sure my family has to do with why you're up here all alone," Blair said, "and nothing to do with what day it is."

Chuck's eyes hardened at the sudden attack.

He shouldn't have underestimated her.

If he abhorred anything about Blair Waldorf, it was her observation skills. He could expect everyone else to be afraid of mentioning the unmentionable, but Blair was cold. There wasn't anything she wouldn't do to torture him.

"He doesn't, does he?" Blair asked. "He doesn't have any idea what happened exactly 365 days ago. How does it feel to have everyone just forget about your father's brutal and tragic accident?"

"How does it feel to be betrayed by the person you love most?" he retorted easily. He never left anyone wanting.

"Excuse me?" Blair asked darkly.

"Who was on the phone?" Chuck smirked.

Blair paused before reluctantly tossing him a smirk of her own. She had to give him credit. He refused to give up territory to her. Just like she refused him.

And then she realized they were both smiling at each other.

"I still don't trust you," Blair warned him.

"Let's be honest," Chuck sighed, "you made that decision before you even spoke to me again."

"And me?"

Chuck hadn't been expecting that. "And you what?"

"What did you think about me?"

"Your compulsion to talk about yourself is impressive."

"Only to rival yours. But let me guess," Blair interjected. "You think I'm straitlaced, prim, proper-"

"Why do you care what I think?" Chuck asked.

"I know what you think," Blair continued, ignoring his inquiry. "You're not surprised to see your assumptions are exactly correct."

"You don't know what I think."

"I couldn't pretend to understand the mind of a heathen like you," Blair said delicately.

"I think you understand me more than you'd prefer to acknowledge," Chuck offered. "That's why you wonder what I think."

"No," Blair finished. "You're right. I don't care what you think. You're just someone who's corrupting my brother."

"And you're the pure godsend to set him on the right path," Chuck mocked. "Let me tell you something, princess. Your brother doesn't want to be saved. And you're fooling yourself if you think you're any different."

"Believe me. The day when I indulge in your depravity is the day—"

"Can the two of you just be civil for a minute while I'm gone?"

Both of them turned to see Tyler staring at them expectantly.

"And not a moment too soon," Chuck retorted. "Your sister was moments from castrating me."

"Believe me, I'd be doing the women of the world a favor," Blair slung back.

"Thanks, but I prefer my anatomy intact," Chuck replied.

"You're the only one," Blair sneered.

"I have verification from at least half the models in the city that you couldn't be more wrong."

"Well if poster girls for functioning anorexics say so, then it must be true," Blair spat.

"You're one to talk about food neurotics—"

"We're going downstairs now," Tyler interrupted before Blair could release her fury.

He pulled Chuck away from her, leading him downstairs, away from the demise that was waiting at the top of the stairs.

"What the hell was that?"

"What?" Chuck asked. "I can't help it if your sister has it out for me."

"That wasn't defense," Tyler said. "That was personal. Blair is…complicated. And my sister. You can't talk to her like that."

"Complicated," Chuck scoffed.

"Why did you say that?" Tyler asked, ignoring his best friend's disbelief.

"Because it's true," Chuck said. "You know it is."

"It doesn't mean we talk about it."

"We?" Chuck asked. "You mean your family."

"It's not exactly supposed to be public knowledge."

"Because it would embarrass Eleanor?"

"Blair and my mother have a complex relationship," Tyler said. "Don't let what Blair says about her make you take her too seriously."

"And what do I think?" Chuck asked. "As far as I can tell, your mother is a neglectful, critical cliché of the Upper East Side."

"She loves us," Tyler said, unfazed by the insult.

"Maybe that's true," Chuck said, "but she doesn't show it very well."

"Now Blair isn't such a mystery," Tyler said.

"There's always a reason why people act the way they do."

"Blair acts the way she acts because she cares," Tyler said. "She's harmless. She just provokes you because she's being protective."

"Protective."

"She thinks she's helping," Tyler said. "She took it upon herself to protect me. Especially after Father left. Nate always resented her for it."

"And we've come right to it," Chuck said. "Nathaniel."

"I wouldn't get too attached."

"They're over."

"Not exactly," Tyler said. "They are taking an abnormally long time to die."

"So you heard their arguments on the phone too," Chuck mused.

"Nate is a part of Blair's juvenile past," Tyler said. "Blair re-prioritized her life and grew out of him."

"But she's still with him."

"Evidently."

Tyler's voice was distant and it took Chuck a moment to realize who had just walked through the elevator doors.

"What is she doing here?"

Serena van der Woodsen walked right past them without a backward glance. Even to her adoptive brother

"Blair," Tyler replied obviously.

In a moment, it wouldn't have even mattered what questions there were because the house's silence was suddenly shattered.

_ "I thought we could talk. Please, Blair."_

Serena's voice was so desperate that it echoed around the now silent house.

_"I must have blanked on the part where I invited you over."_

_ "I just wanted to explain—"_

_ "Explain how you betrayed me? For months."_

_ "I didn't mean it."_

_ "So it was an accident."_

_ "No, that's not what I meant."_

_ "I always knew you were a whore. I never took you for a liar too."_

With that everything was silent.

All the silence was met with was a door slam and the sobs of a guilty blonde.


	4. Winter III: Shakin'

A/N: I ma so pleased how everyone is faring with this fic. I was really afraid it was too AU or OOC but all the reviews I have been getting have been exemplary. That being said, I'm sure all of you will really enjoy this chapter ;)

Summary: Age difference almost seemed non-existent. But he was walking towards her and her own legs reacted accordingly. She never remembered being susceptible to anything like this before. Chuck Bass was nothing. She could never care for someone who wasn't worth her. But for some reason, he made her react.

Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me. All characters are taken to make my own story. And thanks to suspensegirl for the beta ;)

* * *

><p>"Are we going to talk about this?"<p>

Blair sat at her vanity, expertly applied her mascara as her brother stood at the door.

"About what?" Blair asked. "Your insistence that I accompany you to this party—"

"You know what, Blair," Tyler said.

She refused to meet his eyes.

"Don't shut me out," Tyler said, walking fully into the room. "Not me."

"I didn't realize you had taken up your best friend's tendency to eavesdrop," Blair said sharply.

"I didn't have to," Tyler replied. "Upper West Siders could hear you."

"Those bottom dwellers would relish the gossip," Blair replied, standing up.

"Blair."

"Now I don't have to worry just about the intimate details of my private life being aired to the entirety of Manhattan, but your blood brother blackmailing me as well."

"What are you talking about?" Tyler asked in disbelief. "Chuck?"

"Of course Chuck," Blair snapped. "He would love to watch me fall. He's probably going to announce it at his New Year's party tonight."

"He wouldn't do that."

"Why?"

"Because I asked him not to," Tyler said.

"So he was going to ruin me."

"No," Tyler said. "But Chuck is Chuck."

"That's just another way of saying that he's a backstabbing, narcissistic—"

"You?" Tyler asked with a smile.

"You dragging me to his bacchanal is enough," Blair said. "I don't want to have to defend myself against your partner in crime at the same time."

"I'm not dragging you," Tyler said. "I coerced you. There's a difference. And you know you would go anyway, if only to defend me against my partner in crime."

"I better not get bored," Blair warned as she grabbed her purse.

"I wouldn't count on it."

She headed for the door before realizing he hadn't followed.

"You know he didn't mean it," Tyler finally spoke up. "What he said the other night—"

"Okay."

"Blair."

"Tyler," she said mockingly.

"You can talk to me."

"About what?" she asked. "Are we suddenly going to purge our souls to each other?"

"Why not?"

"Because we don't do that," she said. "And the very fact that you think your weasel of a friend could hurt me is quite insulting."

"I didn't mean that," he replied. "I just meant that if you ever needed to talk about something, if you ever feel stressed, you could talk to me."

"Tyler," she said succinctly. "We don't do that."

For the first time, he knew there was something vastly wrong with it all.

"I know."

* * *

><p>"I didn't realize you were bringing a chaperon."<p>

"You're discriminating against guests now?"

Chuck and Tyler conversed easily through the monotonous roar of the party. They stood at the bar of the van der Woodsen penthouse, observing the guests. But both of their eyes were centered only on one thing.

"You know she's not here because she wants to have fun," Chuck said, watching Blair float from group to group with such practiced grace, all with a martini glass in her hand.

"That's not fair."

"Why?" Chuck asked. "The last time she tried to have fun was two years ago. As your chaperon again, I might add."

"At _your_ burlesque club," Tyler noted. "How eerily familiar."

"I'm building a business under the radar," Chuck said. "The likes of your uptight sister won't stop it. She's only here to watch you anyway."

"You say that like it's a bad thing."

"That she can't let you live your own life?"

"You're getting oddly out of sorts over this," Tyler remarked.

"You said so yourself," Chuck said. "She doesn't want to be here. I'm surprised the Ice Queen even let you come."

"She's my body guard. Though that's more for her benefit that mine," Tyler said. "She doesn't want her reputation sullied."

"By being at a party thrown by Chuck Bass without an excuse?" he sneered.

"By being at one full of high schoolers."

"Everyone is here," Chuck said.

"Almost everyone."

"Meaning?"

"I couldn't help but notice a blonde sister of yours is missing," Tyler said casually.

"And whose fault is that?"

"Please," Tyler retorted. "You've found more entertainment out of that one confrontation than you have the entire vacation."

"Your sister is strangely…" Chuck said, "provocative."

He felt Tyler's dark eyes on him.

"Not in the way you mean," Tyler said.

"No," Chuck said. "Never that."

* * *

><p>"I heard you."<p>

She was walking on the landing before turning to face him, seemingly almost bored with him.

"Are you expecting a congratulations?"

"Just because my parties have a sense of—"

"Degradation?" Blair asked smartly.

"That doesn't stop your screaming matches from escaping my room."

"Was that your room?" Blair asked calmly, looking behind her. "Your dirty girl scout painting wasn't a complete tip off."

"You conveniently found your way into my room to make a phone call?"

"I thought you said they were screaming matches," Blair said coolly.

"It's still my room."

"It's still my business," Blair said, brushing past him.

"Not when it involves my family, it isn't."

Blair stopped abruptly.

"I haven't seen Serena around anywhere," Chuck said. "She was supposed to come back from school for vacation."

"What would I have to do with that?"

"Does this denial thing usually work in your favor?" Chuck asked. "Everyone knows something happened at school between the two of you. It's just a question of what."

"You're fishing," Blair said.

"If only you hadn't humiliated her and exiled her from your house for the world to see," Chuck said. "Maybe you'd be more convincing."

"Maybe not everyone is obsessed with me as you are," Blair replied.

"You wish."

"Oh no," Blair said before taking her leave. "You wish."

"I didn't realize self delusion was a symptom of another catfight with my sister," Chuck spat. Blair smiled patronizingly. He hated how young she made him feel.

"Your sister is exactly the problem."

"I don't see how."

"I don't expect you to understand familial dynamics," Blair said. "I told you what involving yourself with my brother would do."

"I like him," Chuck said.

"You're using him."

"For what?" Chuck asked. "To get closer to you?"

"To make you feel better about yourself." But even as she said it, his words haunted her. It was the first thing that came to her mind. And the worst part was it didn't even strike her as strange.

She remembered when they used to ride around in his limo together. She remembered him stealing single malt from the Captain's library. But now, it almost seemed like another life. Another person. That wasn't the Chuck Bass that was standing before her. This was Chuck Bass, her little brother's best friend.

But he was looking at her like he could see right through her.

She hated him.

"I'm not one for self improvement," Chuck drawled.

"But you are one for destruction," she replied. "You may be able to spar with me, but that's a given."

"We used to be friends," he reminded her. "You can't change chemistry like that."

"The past doesn't matter."

He was sure she said it hastier than she would have liked.

"He's my little brother," Blair said. "My priority is protecting him."

"I guess I can't understand that."

"You seem to be protecting Serena pretty well," Blair said coldly.

"In what way?"

"I don't see her anywhere around here."

"That's more your doing than mine, I'm sure."

He felt her. He felt something about her so strongly that he knew Tyler didn't feel.

He couldn't.

Tyler couldn't feel the heat, the anxiety, and the fear.

For some reason, Chuck felt it all. Suddenly, he could feel something,

For some reason, when she looked upon him—down upon him—he felt something that he had never felt before. He felt like something was coming and no matter how hard his tone bit, how the cruel things he tried to cut her with, something wasn't right.

Something was odd.

She made him feel small and irrelevant. No one else could claim that.

She was dangerous. The only person in his life he had ever been afraid of was his father.

Blair provided a new kind of fear. He wasn't afraid of her. He was afraid of what was happening to him every time he looked at her. He was afraid she was affecting him in a way that he couldn't control.

It wasn't familiar. He didn't know what it was. But he knew it was bad. He knew it was threatening.

"Tyler doesn't know."

He stood still for a moment before answering. "What makes you think I do?"

But they both knew.

"Because you just said you did."

If he didn't know, he wouldn't have said anything at all.

"And what makes you think Tyler doesn't know what she did?"

Her expression wavered, but then hardened just as quickly. If she acted so stony about someone who was supposed to be her best friend, he wasn't sure what she would do to him.

He wished he could just get her away from him. She was dark and predatory and he only knew what that looked like because it should have been him.

He knew he was in trouble. She would stare and he would be afraid that she could see as easily into his mind as she could her own.

She was trouble.

He knew that preying on him would be Blair Waldorf's greatest accomplishment. But he also knew he had been staring at her for far too long.

He didn't stare at girls. Not like this. He just took what he wanted.

He hated how easily she broke that mold.

It was uncomfortable and he couldn't find anything else to say. But there was something so intoxicating about it, that he couldn't help himself.

"Stop looking at me like that."

"You are really used to always getting your way," he said evenly. "Well you won't get yours with me, princess."

"You think you know what I want?"

"I know you want Nathaniel to stop calling you," Chuck observed. "Why is that?"

"Why are you so interested in him?" Blair asked. "No one has ever said 'no' to you either, have they? You're just upset there's one person that doesn't like you."

"No one likes me. Starting with you," he replied. "That never surprised me."

"Tyler likes you," she pointed out.

"He's the only one."

"Don't ask questions about my relationship," Blair backtracked. "You're my little brother's best friend. We wouldn't even interact otherwise."

"You never know," Chuck mentioned. "You and I could have had an unbreakable bond had circumstances been different."

"Well we don't now," Blair replied. "And I'd appreciate you keeping a leash on your stepsister. I'd hate to get infected with her promiscuity."

"Beautiful and mean," he murmured. "Chilling. You know I wouldn't mind you getting infected."

"Run through all your whores already?"

"Funny how you immediately jumped to that topic of conversation."

"Your conquests?"

Chuck turned to whisper in her ear. "My sexual appetite."

Blair shoved him away. "I don't think that it's funny at all."

* * *

><p>"What was that about?"<p>

Tyler looked at Chuck expectantly as he came down the stairs. Chuck followed his gaze to see Blair in the higher level.

"You know, don't you?" Chuck asked.

"Why do you care so much?"

"I don't know."

Tyler narrowed his eyes. They both knew that he was speaking the truth.

He really didn't know.

"Don't wrack your brain contemplating," Tyler said. "She doesn't want you to know anyway."

"Know what?"

Tyler shot him a look. "You know."

"I just said I didn't."

"You know about Serena and Blair."

"Alright," Chuck said admittedly. "Why does Blair want to destroy her best friend?"

Tyler didn't answer.

"You're really not going to tell me?" Chuck asked. "We're best friends."

"I'm not even supposed to know."

"Then why do you?"

"I'm her little brother," Tyler smiled. "It's what I do."

"I don't know about Serena's private life," Chuck mentioned.

"You're lucky," Tyler said. "Then you'd have to pick a side. And we both know how fond you are of my sister."

"Very amusing," Chuck replied. "I don't want to pick a side. It doesn't matter to me. I'm not getting in the middle."

"You see my sister as this tyrannical monarch," Tyler says. "But the real reason she's doing this is because how hurt she is."

"And what is she doing?" Chuck asked.

"I thought you weren't getting in the middle."

"I can't help but be curious."

"Blair's fragile," Tyler said. "She puts on a show, but Nate's indifference just hurts her. Along with Serena."

"Or your mother's," Chuck said.

"What does that mean?"

"Blair's strong," Chuck said. "Just because she hurts doesn't mean she'll break."

"Was that a compliment?"

"It's the truth," Chuck said. "Just what I've observed."

"Including my mother?"

"Including that."

"You don't know—"

"The only reason she's condescending to even listen to Nate right now is to appease your mother."

"Nate's here?"

"Not yet."

* * *

><p>He always seemed to be there. It was the one thing she despised about him. She was sure she despised everything. She should.<p>

He was always there. He was always listening, always knowing, always lurking. Hanging up on Nate repeatedly was starting to lose its luster.

Chuck Bass staring at her knowingly wasn't helping her.

"That went well."

"Aren't you bored already?"

"Interestingly enough, your melodrama proves for a very entertaining vacation."

"You're lucky I don't take Tyler home right now," Blair threatened.

"I didn't realize you were so maternal."

"Only to the person who matters."

"He doesn't need you protecting him."

"He doesn't need you at all."

"Why do you put up with it?"

Blair fell silent at his question, understanding that this didn't have to do with Nate at all. He knew this. He knew this sparring, this battle. He knew what it was like to seethe and hate.

For some reason he knew her. And he knew she wasn't antagonistic for just any reason.

"With what?" she asked softly.

"Are we really going to play that game?"

"Are you really going to keep being invasive?" Blair asked. "What is it to you?"

"Curiosity," Chuck replied. "Don't you think you deserve better?"

"Why do you care?" she asked. "You hate me."

"I didn't say I thought you deserved better," Chuck said. "I was just wondering if you did."

"I deserve whatever I get."

She wondered why it was easy to be so honest with him and yet so difficult. But he was smirking and leaning back against a door and it was the first time she realized they were standing right in front of his bedroom.

She couldn't recall wanting to be in this position or even being aware of its conception. But he was smirking and she couldn't help the feeling that even though it didn't seem planned, he was very pleased with himself.

His fist turned around the handle, leaning back so the door opened. He took a step back into the darkness of the room. His face was partially shadowed and she almost took a step forward.

But she knew this. She knew all the tricks. And for some reason, it seemed that Chuck wanted to compromise her in some way.

"What's the matter, princess?" he asked. "You scared?"

"Scared?" she repeated scornfully. "Of you?"

"You look pale suddenly," Chuck replied. "Afraid to enter my lair?"

"There is nothing about you that could ever frighten me," Blair replied. "You should be asking yourself why you want me here to begin with.

"You've been in here before."

"Why do you want me to?"

"Curiosity."

To be honest, she wanted to play this game too.

He had stepped back completely into the room where he was completely shrouded in darkness.

Though not intimidated, she was intrigued.

There was something about him that was beckoning her and she couldn't figure out how she had arrived here.

Before she could even consider what she was doing, she placed a high-heeled foot daintily across the threshold.

"Again I ask," Blair breathed into the darkness, "what makes you so intrigued with me?"

"Narcissism," he said without hesitation.

"You and I are nothing alike."

"Then why are you alone in the dark with me?" Chuck asked. "You could be with your boyfriend."

"If I wanted it."

"What is it that you want?"

Blair knew this wasn't just any ordinary game. She hated to admit it, but with him, it was like playing with fire. She could never give him that much validation, but there was something about this that she couldn't help but feel dangerous.

"You're just a child," she said succinctly, examining the space by only the light of the moon. "Hardly worth the trouble."

"We're only six months apart," he reminded her. "If the grade cut-off was different we'd be in the same class. And to what trouble are you referring to, exactly?"

"Beating you off my brother with a stick," Blair said.

"That is true," Chuck said. "If I wasn't a danger, you wouldn't bother."

"Taking that as a compliment, are you?" Blair asked. "Maybe we could have been closer in another life. But we're not. As chance would have it, you happen to be less than nothing. So my personal business shouldn't be a part of yours."

Even so, her insults meant nothing. He just smirked into the darkness, knowing that though she couldn't see it, he knew she could feel it.

"If I'm such a child," he drawled, "then why am I the one who knows your private life?"

"Because you're an eavesdropper."

"I prefer observant."

They always seemed to gravitate towards each other in the most peculiar fashion, even in the darkness. She felt the warmth of him, again not able to understand exactly what was going on. If the lights were on she would be able to determine the exact hue of his exotically slanting eyes.

It was the strangest thing about him. She saw them, his deeply penetrating eyes with the most unique hue of darkness. Even now, she found herself craning her neck to look into them.

Age difference almost seemed non-existent. But he was walking towards her and her own legs reacted accordingly. She never remembered being susceptible to anything like this before. Chuck Bass was nothing. She could never care for someone who wasn't worth her. But for some reason, he made her react.

The painting above his bed was familiar.

"My brother is your best friend," she said softly.

"What is that supposed to mean?" his voice grated into the night. His hot breath brushed against her lips so she could smell the distinct odor of scotch.

She didn't hate it.

That should have been one of many alerts to tell her to move.

But she didn't leave.

"You really don't think I wouldn't tell him if you tried anything with me, do you?"

He laughed. It wasn't so much a laugh at her sudden proclamation as surprise.

"And you're so convinced that I'm hot for you."

"You're hot for everyone," Blair replied snidely.

"Not everyone looked the way you did at the opening of Victrola." She hadn't been expecting it. She hadn't expected him to bend to her ear, whispering huskily even though they were the only two in the room.

"That was two years ago," Blair said.

"Does Tyler know that you're a masked devil?"

"Does he know that you are?" Blair spat back.

"I suppose I'm not as expert as you are in the art of disguise."

"Just an expert of debauchery."

"And yet here you are. What would your precious Nathaniel say about that?"

For once, she didn't think about it. For once, she didn't feel the least bit bad about it.

"He's not here," Blair said, wondering how her tone had turned so sultry.

"Why haven't you broken up with him yet?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

It was the strangest thing. Their antagonism had suddenly taken on a threatening flirtatious quality.

And she wasn't stopping.

She just told him the truth instead.

"I'd rather humiliate him instead," she whispered in his ear.

"And how do you plan on doing that?"

It had been pre-ordained.

That was what she was sure of. There could be no other explanation why she suddenly wrapped her arms around him, pressing her lips against his fervently.

And he stopped.

She felt a sudden fearful jolt rip through her body at the thought of being rejected by Chuck Bass.

But then it was over.

His hesitation was gone in an instant, and she felt his dresser digging into her back.

There were no words.

There was just the vindication that this had to happen.

She pushed him back on his own bed, him already halfway out of his clothes, her with her dress strewn across his floor.

He was caught between the surreal and ecstasy, unaware how he had gotten into a place he never thought he would be. Blair Waldorf was on top of him, kissing him with such ferocity he never knew was quite possible.

It ignited something in him. He had never felt this before, this fire. She was beautiful and she was mean and he loved every second of it.

Her hair was black in the moonlight, waving towards the bed as they moved together.

The door wasn't locked. Her brother—his best friend—was downstairs.

Blair Waldorf was naked and on top of him.

And all he could do was pant and groan her name.


	5. Winter IV: Black Math

A/N: After everything, I really hope you'll still be reading. I'll still be writing, but I can't promise that they'll be coming out any quicker. But I will never give up on Chuck and Blair ;)

Summary: He smelled like he had that night. He looked at her like he had when she had been afflicted with temporary insanity. He wasn't looking away. He was unkempt and stubborn and he wasn't looking away.

Disclaimer: Characters and such do not belong to me. Thanks to suspensegirl for the beta.

* * *

><p>Chuck was disoriented.<p>

He stumbled out of his room, stuffing his shirt back into his pants and still unsure as to what had just happened. He looked wildly around the upstairs, but there was no sign of her.

But she had been there. Hadn't she? That hadn't just been some hallucination. He could smell her perfume clinging insistently to him, and yet, he still couldn't figure it out.

That couldn't have just happened. It was all so strange, so surreal.

He had just fucked Blair Waldorf.

Or more realistically, she had just fucked him.

For he truly hoped he hadn't imagined the whole thing—because that moment, that seemed to be the most logical explanation. Blair Waldorf was prim and proper. She didn't push her brother's best friends onto beds and have her way with him. That sounded more like something that he would do.

And yet he remembered.

He remembered how her nails scraped down his back and her breathy moans whispered lust and satisfaction into his ear.

At least, he hoped it was satisfaction.

For the first time, he really cared. He cared what she thought and why when he finally pulled himself out of his haze, she was gone. For the first time, he was actually questioning his ability. She disappeared.

He could smell her. Even as he swayed down the stairs without any coordination at all, he could smell her all over him. She was still affecting him, still under his skin.

All he knew was he had to find her.

And at that moment, he wished he hadn't.

She was perfect. There wasn't a hair out of place as she and her brother talked animatedly. He would have liked to believe that her high spirits had something to do with his exemplary performance, but the moment she caught his eye, her face fell.

It was the first time he had that feeling. He knew humiliation, but never like this before. And usually that humiliation was dealt by cold fathers, not beautiful women.

Blair stared at him coldly and he never felt more insignificant. She looked down at him like he was dirt beneath her expensive Louboutins. He knew that was exactly how she meant it.

He finally felt it. He finally knew exactly the way she intended. He was just a boy to her. He wasn't her equal. He wasn't even worth her brother.

He was nothing.

He was an immature high schooler at his high school party with his juvenile high school desires.

There wasn't a student at St. Jude's who hadn't wanted Blair Waldorf in some capacity. He was just foolish enough to think he had won some nonexistent contest.

She had so easily just pulled on her dress, fixed her hair and walked back down to the party like nothing had happened. To her, nothing had happened.

So it hadn't.

Chuck had to understand that.

He never liked adhering to rules. But for now, he would—because his best friend was walking right towards him.

"Where have you been all night?"

The question was just out of curiosity, but every fear Chuck had welled up inside him. He wondered if Tyler had asked his own sister that same question. And he had to ask himself a question.

Why did he feel so guilty?

It was the scariest thing he could experience to understand that he really wasn't the devil everyone painted him to be.

"Do you really have to ask?"

But he still couldn't.

Chuck watched Tyler roll his eyes at his smug remark. Despite the fact that fear was coursing through him, it didn't change the fact that omission was still technically a lie.

And he had still technically slept with his best friend's sister. Chuck didn't remember when he started caring so much. It had all been easier when nothing made sense and he could pretend to be as bad as everyone thought he really was.

"You look weird."

But it was clear that Tyler still saw it in him. And it was clear he apparently felt something.

"Your blunt statements are always appreciated," Chuck drawled.

For some reason this time, he didn't relish in the deception.

"You smell like Chanel No. 5."

Chuck forced himself to smirk. "My favorite."

* * *

><p>The tap had been running for so long that the mirror in the bathroom had turned opaque from steam. Blair had lost track of how much time she had spent staring at her reflection and couldn't recall when it had disappeared.<p>

She jumped at the sound of the door opening.

"Blair."

"Tyler."

Her brother sighed at her apathetic tone as she flicked the water from her hands into the sink. She reached for the towel.

"We're leaving."

"What?" Tyler asked, baffled. He was the one who had come looking for her.

Blair finally turned to face him. "Now."

"Is that an order?" Tyler asked coolly.

"I've indulged this undignified lechery as long as can be expected," Blair said. "Even more."

"I thought I brought my sister," Tyler said, "not a chaperon."

"What do you expect?" she asked. "This is an orgy masquerading as a party thrown by Chuck Bass."

"It's the Upper East Side, Blair," Tyler said. "You're letting your bias get in the way."

"Get in the way of what, exactly?" Blair asked. "I didn't want to come in the first place."

"Well I wanted you to," Tyler said. "You're my sister and I missed you. And as much as you detest Chuck for some reason, I thought you should have fun."

"Fun," she repeated.

"You come home and I know all you feel is anxiety," Tyler said. "This is an escape."

"Which we are now escaping from," Blair said.

"I'm staying," Tyler said. She looked at him blankly. "He's my best friend."

"Why?"

"Blair," Tyler said, smiling slightly. "I know you have this compulsion to control everything and dominate everyone, but it's fine. I'm fine."

"This will never be fine, Tyler."

"Why do you hate him so much?" he asked. "What has he ever done to you?"

"Chuck Bass infects everything he touches," Blair said. "You can't let him manipulate you."

"Like you are?"

"Tyler," Blair said, hurt evident in her voice. "You know I would never do that to you."

"I make my own decisions," Tyler said. "And Chuck doesn't judge."

"Who judges you?" Blair asked.

"Everyone has something to hide here, Blair," Tyler said.

"Him more than anyone."

"Maybe you're the one who's afraid for yourself," he said. "Does he have something on you?"

"Don't be ridiculous," Blair replied. "I just don't want him defiling my little brother."

"Like you were?"

Blair stiffened.

"Just because I'm younger doesn't mean I'm naïve," Tyler said. "I know your first time with Nate was when you were my age."

"That's different."

"Why?" Tyler asked scornfully. "Because Nate's your soulmate?"

"Because I regret it," Blair said definitively.

At that, Tyler fell silent. The Nate subject was touchy at best and it was clear how much it was affecting her.

She turned on her heel, not sure if she was expecting her brother to follow in her wake. It wasn't satisfying to know that Tyler actually had been. She was too unsettled by her little brother's best friend eying her as she struck a path to the elevator, almost positive that he had heard every word.

* * *

><p>"If you wanted to escape Chuck, I would say your plan had some significant flaws."<p>

Blair rolled her eyes towards her brother. She knew exactly where he had gained that smug attitude and she didn't like it.

Though her little brother did have some logic.

The previous night she had attempted to escape The Bane of Her Existence. She had just hoped Tyler wouldn't be so observant. He was her brother and a Waldorf at that. But she was sure he was still in the dark about the more messy and obscure details of the other night that she had rather hoped he wouldn't uncover.

He made sense. In her fury and haziness of the other night, she had failed to remember that Chuck was only throwing a party at his stepmother's. He wasn't actually staying there for the duration of the holiday.

He was staying at the Waldorf's.

And for that, she would roll her eyes at her little brother, because she put the entirety of the blame on him.

"Why would I care to even acknowledge your juvenile friend enough to avoid him?" Blair asked dryly.

"I don't know," Tyler shrugged nonchalantly. "Maybe the reason that you haven't come out of your room for anything other than social engagements."

"That's called normal."

"Is it normal forgoing meals just because you hate my best friend so much?"

"Yes," she put simply.

"Well you need to get over it. Mom wants to see you."

"She can't bring herself to even come up here and speak to me?" Blair asked.

"I think she wanted it to come off as a natural conversation."

"As opposed to another lecture?" Blair asked tiredly, getting to her feet. "If that were true, she wouldn't have summoned me."

Tyler looked at her strangely.

"What?" she asked. "Are you going to rush to her defense again?"

"Maybe if you gave her a chance—"

"Are you giving Daddy a chance?" Blair asked.

"That's different."

"It always is when it's you."

"Mom's waiting downstairs."

"You are so convenient when doing someone else's dirty work."

* * *

><p>Eleanor gave no sign that she heard Blair enter the living room.<p>

But Blair knew she did.

She watched her mother study documents on the table and she just waited. She waited to be addressed, to be noticed. She always waited on her mother.

"What are your plans for going back to New Haven?" Eleanor didn't look up from her work.

"Plans?"

Eleanor sighed at the effort as she raised her head to look at her.

Blair wished she could say anything intelligent in front of her mother.

"You are planning on going back next semester."

"Of course," Blair said defensively.

"You know the effort your father put into getting you in there in the first place—"

"They accepted me, Mother," Blair cut her off, stern with her mother for the first time. "They wanted me. I got there on my own merit."

"Yes, well," Eleanor said apathetically. That was what she said when she disagreed and wanted Blair to know it. She wanted her daughter to know how inferior she thought of her. Blair wished she were good enough to be in her mother's graces like her little brother. She didn't know the difference between them.

She was sure it had to do with the fact that Tyler wanted their father to leave. Tyler chose Eleanor. Blair didn't choose anything.

"Was that all?" Blair asked delicately. "I suppose I should start packing—"

"You know very well why you're down here," Eleanor said. "And why your brother and his _friend_ are upstairs."

"What do you mean?"

But they both knew exactly what she meant.

"I hope you're taking my opinion into account, Blair," Eleanor said.

"I do."

"About Chuck Bass."

"I know, Mother."

Eleanor eyed her sternly.

"I'm telling you this for your own good," Eleanor said. "Fraternizing with Charles is very poor social form."

"I know—"

"You know how I feel about the Basses."

"That doesn't stop you from indulging Tyler," Blair couldn't help but remark.

"He's just a boy. But you," Eleanor said, walking towards her daughter. She stroked several strands of Blair's hair out of her face gently. It was almost compassionate. But Blair knew what it really was. A manipulation. "You are my eldest and only daughter. I want the best for you. And social intercourse with a Bass will ruin your reputation."

Blair had enough control to restrain herself from flinching.

"Yes, Mother."

* * *

><p>"Hello, lover."<p>

He smelled like he had that night.

He looked at her like he had when she had been afflicted with temporary insanity.

He wasn't looking away. He was unkempt and stubborn and he wasn't looking away.

"Are we really going to do this?" Blair asked as apathetically as she could.

"And what exactly is it that you're referring to?" Chuck drawled, hedging more into her room. He was pushing against her boundaries again, even though she knew the first time was completely her fault.

"It happened," Blair said brusquely. "And now it's over."

"What happened?" he smirked.

"Don't—"

"I want to hear you say it," Chuck stated.

"This is the only time that I will ever even refer to its existence," Blair said. "Because after you leave this room, it doesn't exist. It never happened."

"But I am in your room," he said with quiet danger. "And there is nothing that you can do to make me forget that night. Especially being this close to your bed."

"Get out."

"And it's suddenly so clear to me," Chuck continued as though he hadn't even heard her, "why you've considered me abhorrent all this time."

"Please," Blair scoffed. "Because I've been harboring hidden desires for you all this time? Let me enlighten you. I never have and never will again sink as low as I did that night."

"You think so?" Chuck asked. "I'd like to take those chances. Considering how you were purring in my ear—"

"We're done here," Blair interrupted coldly.

"How unsatisfactory he must be," Chuck said, "that you had to crawl into bed with your little brother's best friend."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"That denial must come in handy when being the trophy for Nathaniel."

"It's difficult to be a trophy when there isn't a relationship to begin with."

"You did begin with one," Chuck countered. "Something just happened to make you consider your options."

"You really think you're a viable option?" Blair laughed.

"Maybe not," Chuck said. "But maybe Tyler has an opinion on the subject."

It was the first time she had touched him since gin laced her veins. But Blair grabbed Chuck's forearm roughly, pulling him back.

"You won't."

"Won't I?" Chuck asked. "We used to be friends. You remember exactly what I'm capable of."

"I know you won't," Blair said. "No matter what guilt you feel or don't, you still care about him. Even though you're a terrible influence, you at least care. And you don't want him to hate you."

Chuck looked down at their locked limbs.

Blair released him hastily.

"And you know he would."

"We used to be friends," Chuck said again.

"A mistake so far in my past I can hardly remember."

"A mistake?" Chuck asked. "Forgive me if I don't recall."

"We were friends."

"You're actually admitting it," Chuck stated.

"We were friends," Blair said, "before I realized how detrimental you were to my reputation."

"You mean before your mother realized."

"Does it matter?" Blair asked. "Don't tell me you were lying awake nights wondering how it all went wrong."

"Do you think it went wrong?"

"You destroy everything, Chuck," Blair said. "I wasn't going to be one of them."

"What makes you say that?"

"You know what."

"Say it."

"What would be the point?"

"You were friends with me right up until the point you started dating my best friend."

"And look what happened," Blair said. "You destroyed that too."

"Your family isn't the only blue blood that considers me detrimental."

"When are you going to stop blaming it on other people," Blair said, "until you realize that you're the problem?"

"You really think that," Chuck said in amazement, "don't you? You really think your mother is righteous and that it's natural to suppress everything that you are."

"What makes you think that I am?"

"New Years wouldn't have happened if you weren't," Chuck said. "Your deep kindred desires were begging to break free. That most tragic thing about it is, you don't even know it."

Blair stared off at him as he began his leave of her.


	6. Winter V

A/N: I'm sorry I can't get these out fast, but it just doesn't seem to be in fate's plan. But here's the next chapter!

Summary: Blair felt his presence. She could feel it on her still. Even after countless showers and insistent scrubbing, she still couldn't peel his essence from her. She felt as though she could still smell his distinct, musky sweat all over her.

Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me. All characters are works of fiction that are not mine. I only made up the words. Thanks to suspensegirl for the beta.

* * *

><p>Chuck wasn't truly sure how he found himself outside of Blair's bedroom, but that was irrelevant. That fact remained that he was there. No matter how dangerous it was.<p>

He was never one for self-preservation.

The door gave way with ease, revealing the dark room. Chuck hesitated only for a moment before crossing the threshold.

Blair was sprawled across her bed; her dark curls a stark contrast to her white negligee. Her chest rose and fell slowly in her deep slumber. He watched her quietly, as though she were an exotic animal that could bolt at the slightest sound.

But it was only a second. After that second he found his way by her bed, feeling it dip beneath his own weight. The gravity of what he was doing wasn't apparent to him at all. He couldn't understand how she had possessed him in such a way.

She moved fluidly beneath him. As though he was meant to be there all along, her lips were yielding, her body pliant.

He had no fear. He was sure that she would wake up any moment, delving out any punishment she would see fit. The options ranged from screaming for help to smothering him with a pillow.

Instead, she did something different altogether.

Whether she was fully awake, or was only acting within the deep recesses of her sleep, she was clinging to him. Her nails dug into his shoulders and her lips moved with his hungrily. He didn't care if she was in a deep trance or completely coherent. She was kissing him and moving with him and he finally felt as though he was where he was meant to be.

"_Chuck_."

It was a moan. It was deep and throaty and he knew this was where she was meant to be as well. He shoved up the skirt of her slip and finally found completion.

They moved. Grinding and panting, they—

Blair Waldorf sneered at him across the breakfast table. Chuck blinked, realizing that he was staring. She crossed her legs cruelly, displaying the negligee that had spawned his fantasy.

He hated her.

"_What_?"

Chuck held his tongue. Tyler was looking at him expectantly and the thing his best friend really wanted to taunt her with died at the back of his throat.

Chuck just shook his head.

Blair glared at him across the table. There was a solid minute of silence. Chuck knew nothing could be said without igniting curiosity and suspicion in Tyler.

But staring wasn't making him more at ease either.

"Still no sign of Serena." Chuck looked up at Blair, surprised that she was even deigning to speak to him.

He smirked.

"You're inquisitive all of a sudden," he remarked. He knew she had done it just to diverge the awkward tension elsewhere, but he couldn't help but take advantage of it. "Last I heard you had banished her from your life."

"And Eric?" Blair asked as she pushed the conversation onward in the flawless manner only she could possess.

"Andover."

"Doesn't the new husband have children?"

"So inquisitive."

"You wish."

"They're from Brooklyn."

"So they left you all alone."

"I don't need your pity."

"Pity? This is vindication."

"Charming."

"That's what they call me."

Chuck couldn't help but gaze at her. He felt as though he was always looking at her with something like admiration. Everything she said was cool and cutting and he couldn't help himself.

But even as she laughed at his acknowledged silence of defeat, he couldn't help but look over at the counter. Eleanor had been quietly observing the entire conversation and he knew that she wasn't pleased.

Chuck was aware of his reputation and how mothers attempted to shelter their daughters from the likes of him, but this was different. He knew that as much as Eleanor cared for the reputation of her daughter, there was something irreparable about her relationship with Blair. There was something all too familiar about the way Eleanor looked at Blair.

It was the way that his own father used to look at him. And he couldn't stop an ache spreading through his chest. He couldn't allow himself to feel pity for the girl. He had to conquer the predicament he was in, and you didn't do that by feeling sorry for the enemy.

And yet he still saw the difference between Blair and her brother. Eleanor didn't look at Tyler that way. She showered her younger child with affection—as much as Eleanor Waldorf could show affection. All she gave Blair was criticism and it wasn't a secret how Blair had gotten her many neuroses. Chuck had a similar experience. And there were no taking back cracks in relationships like that.

Tyler himself had a complicated relationship with his father, but Chuck knew now that wasn't what he identified with. It was Eleanor and Blair, no matter how much he refused to be manipulated by it.

"_Hey_."

Chuck snapped back to attention. Blair's hand was wrapped around his arm, digging her nails almost painfully into his forearm. She had noticed him noticing Eleanor noticing Blair.

"_Don't_ pity me."

Tyler looked down at the table with embarrassment. Chuck knew that Tyler found the whole situation unnecessary. As much as Tyler was his best friend, there was something the boy could never understand about an emotionally absent parent.

Tyler had a mother.

Blair didn't.

"I wouldn't dream of it."

Blair slid her hand slowly away from him and as her nails retracted, he was reminded of interlopers in the night and negligées that slid away so easily.

"You made it perfectly clear on New Year's how you… regard me."

Blair's face dropped at Chuck's low comment. He knew it was going far. He knew his best friend wasn't stupid. But he didn't have proof. Chuck also knew looking for loopholes to hide from his best friend in when it came to his best friend's sister was underhanded and low. But while he was at it, he might as well blame it on Blair. He just couldn't resist whatever what was happening. And he didn't even know what that was.

But he wanted to find out.

"Excuse me," Blair said sharply before shoving away from the table. Chuck watched as Eleanor grabbed her elbow, scolding her daughter beneath her breath. But Blair just rolled her eyes, pulling away.

He wished his intrigue wasn't so tangible on his face.

* * *

><p>Blair felt his presence. She could feel it on her still. Even after countless showers and insistent scrubbing, she still couldn't peel his essence from her. She felt as though she could still smell his distinct, musky sweat all over her. And she was sure that everyone else could see it too. She was sure that when her mother looked upon her face, all she could see was guilt. It was as if she could see her daughter's sin and the kisses that <em>Bass boy<em> left, marring her flesh.

What was worse, she was sure Tyler could see it too. They were blood and he spent more time with Chuck than anyone. Blair couldn't ignore that fact. Her brother knew the both of them. There was no way that he didn't know.

So she just stewed in her own fear and guilt. There was nothing else that could be done about it. Just like there was nothing she could do to unwrap her mother's talons from her. She could tell she was Eleanor's prey just like Eleanor knew the Devil had just been whispering in Blair's ear.

She had never felt more powerless before in her life.

She hated all of it.

She wasn't sure what had convinced her that a vacation at home with her mother could leave her unscathed, but she found herself flinching every time her mother said her name.

"Blair."

She almost escaped.

"Yes, Mother?" Blair asked tightly, trailing reluctantly towards Eleanor.

She would always feel like the small child that she was in her mother's presence. Her mother would always look down upon her in a condescending sneer.

"I haven't seen Serena around lately."

That was the reason. Blair knew she would never measure up to the daughter that Eleanor had envisioned for her—the type of daughter that Lily van der Woodsen had. Even if Eleanor abhorred the son Lily gained by marriage.

"What?" Blair could never say anything intelligent when it came to the matriarch of the family. She could bring hoards of Tory Burch donning, Prada toting wannabes to their knees with one snide flick of her tongue.

But in front of Eleanor Waldorf, she was completely powerless.

Eleanor just stared expectantly.

In any case, Blair knew what game her mother was playing. Everyone in a thirty-mile radius could hear Serena's irrelevant pleas for clemency. Eleanor included.

"You have to mature sometime, Blair," Eleanor sighed. "You can't keep playing these little games forever."

"This isn't a game." Blair was surprised at her own audacity, as was Eleanor. But her look of surprise soon vanished to one of distaste.

"You need to mend fences with Serena," Eleanor said. "Eventually you'll have to become an adult. You've been friends with her for too long. It's too important."

"You mean your social network is too important."

Eleanor's eyes narrowed icily.

"Don't be childish, Blair."

"Me?" Blair asked laughingly. "You're the one who uses her daughter to keep ties with Lily van der Woodsen."

"We all have to make sacrifices," Eleanor said. "Lily is a prominent figure in our circle."

"And yet you're not pressuring me to befriend her other child," Blair said coldly. "Or have you forgotten that Lily's technically a Bass."

"Not anymore," Eleanor replied indifferently. "Charles' use died with his father."

Blair couldn't help it. She recoiled, feeling her face morph to a look of disgust.

"Don't look so traumatized, Blair," her mother said in a clipped tone. "Your dramatics could be spared for at least a week. We all want a nice holiday."

"And that's my fault, is it?" Blair asked.

"You do tend to bring the heightened emotion in all of us," Eleanor said delicately.

"He's a person, Mother," Blair said, for the first time able to brush off her mother's criticism. "Tyler cares about him."

"He's a person who you'd do well to distance yourself from."

"I heard you the first time."

"And yet you don't seem to comprehend what I'm telling you," Eleanor said. "Reconcile with Serena. And Nate for that matter."

"Nate?" Blair asked in disbelief. It was as though she didn't exist at all.

"Tell him we missed him this time."

"Yeah," Blair said stiffly. "You'll be missing him for awhile."

Before she could let her mother interrupt her with another patronizing hit to her self-esteem, she stormed out of her mother's presence.

She rounded the corner just in time to run into Chuck.

"You have got to kidding."

"Hello, beautiful."

"Stop it," Blair said stonily.

"Fancy meeting you here," he smirked.

"Why are you even here?" she continued to seethe. "Why do you insist on stalking me at every turn, ruining my every chance for some peace?"

"You have some serious superiority complexes on you, princess," Chuck said smoothly.

"You do seem to be around every corner," Blair pointed out.

"It's a little unavoidable when we exist in the same house."

"You know what?" she asked. "We slept together. Okay? It happened. It was fine. You need to get over it."

Chuck stared at her for a moment in silence. She was almost thankful that it looked like he was about to just walk away from her.

He didn't.

"It was better than _fine_."

Blair stared at him in disbelief. She was sure he would come up with some reply, but then again, she wasn't really sure what she was expecting it to be. He was addressing her. He was walking towards her like they were involved in some sort of _relationship_ and everything was fine.

"Fine?" he snorted cruelly. "It was fine? I have the welts on my back to prove how _fine_ it was. You know you have enough bitch in you for the both of us."

"Let it go," Blair said softly. But this conversation was losing its intensity and Chuck was just making a joke out of all of it.

"I like it too much," Chuck drawled.

"What are you doing?" Blair asked in utter confusion. "You don't even know me."

"We used to. Our families all knew each other."

"Maybe in junior high," Blair sighed.

"You're right. And then you started dating Nathaniel," Chuck said. "And something changed."

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"But you do," Chuck smiled coolly. "Nate was my best friend. But then he chose you."

"For good reason."

He still had that disconcerting look about him and Blair couldn't find it in herself to fight anymore.

"I thought you weren't going to mention our little liaison again," Chuck winked before taking his leave of her.

Blair watched him before turning on her heel in frustration.

* * *

><p>"I know that look."<p>

Blair was lying on his bed when Tyler walked into his room. He stood in the doorway expectantly as they just looked at each other. Finally he sighed and walked over to join her.

"Whatever he said—"

"You think I care what your belligerent friend thinks?"

"Obviously you do," Tyler said. "But I think that bothers you."

"Who wouldn't be bothered by it?"

"Blair," Tyler said diplomatically, "you two were friends. You used to care what he thought."

"You're overestimating the extent of our friendship," Blair said. "The only thing we had in common was the ability to say mean things to each other."

"How is that any different now?" Tyler asked.

"I can't be his friend."

"I know."

"So why is he still acting like this?"

"Tell me what he said," Tyler said comfortingly as his sister leaned against him.

"Do you think Nate controls me?" Blair asked. Her delivery was perfect. It was as though Chuck didn't exist and she was the most innocent victim there was. It was as though she was just curious and Chuck had nothing to do with it.

Tyler went along with it instantly.

"I think you let Nate control you," he said logically. "You wanted him so much. But now that you have him, you don't know what to do to keep him."

"I don't know if I even want to."

"Don't listen to Chuck," Tyler sighed, finally breaking the invisible barrier. "He relishes in other people's misery."

"We have that in common," Blair said softly.

"Yes we do."

It was the one thing that made Blair smile. She and her brother were the same.

"If you weren't my blood, I don't think anyone would love me for who I am."

"Chuck's uncle is blood," Tyler reasoned. "And they hate each other."

"At least one Bass has some moral integrity."

Tyler smiled; knowing instinctively that the conversation was over. They just lay on the bed together, arms linked in silence.

* * *

><p>"You know you and your sister are sufficiently nauseating."<p>

Tyler grinned up at his best friend. He had been lounging in the parlor for the past hour after his conversation with his sister.

"She pretends she's invincible," Tyler said. "And I'm guessing the reason that you're here with me is because my sister isn't."

"She's talking to Eleanor."

"About?"

But the answer to that question was already coming clear through the walls. He would have been content to just stay in the parlor but Tyler was already looking around the corner and Chuck had no choice but to follow suit. His curiosity always got the better of him.

"_Nathaniel is a Vanderbilt. Your feelings are irrelevant."_

"_You expect me to live a lie? An unhappy marriage? Just like Daddy?"_

What Chuck saw made his stomach drop. For a horrifying moment, he thought he saw Eleanor's hand rise to her daughter. And even as a blazing pair of dark eyes reached Tyler and Chuck, something stopped them.

A clear ring emanated from the elevator as the doors slid open.

Tyler exhaled with disappointment. "Well speak of the devil."

Nathaniel Archibald walked into the foyer.


	7. Winter VI

A/N: This is short and sort of filler. I really hope it isn't a disappointment.

Summary: _"I can't believe you just showed up at my house." __"What did you expect, Blair? You're not returning any of my calls—" __"The only way I can convince myself that I'm not a complete fool for believing you."_

Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me. All are character of the series (television and books) Gossip Girl. Thanks to suspensegirl for the beta.

* * *

><p>Tyler and Chuck sat across from each other on the floor of his room in silence. Tyler's back was up against the bed as Chuck sat against the opposite wall. They simply looked around the room for something to distract themselves with, both trying to ignore the muffled arguments coming through the adjacent room.<p>

_"I can't believe you just showed up at my house."_

_ "What did you expect, Blair? You're not returning any of my calls—"_

_ "The only way I can convince myself that I'm not a complete fool for believing you."_

Chuck watched Tyler pick awkwardly at the carpet. "They'll probably be done soon."

Chuck had been sure they were pretending that they couldn't hear what was going on in Blair's bedroom.

"Yes," Chuck answered, unable to not succumb to the awkward tension in the room. "There's only so much she can listen to him lie anyway."

"What does that mean?"

"You know," Chuck said. But he was sure that this merited caution.

"What was he lying about?"

"Tyler," Chuck said, hating how the younger boy's accusing eyes made him uncomfortable. "You know what he did."

"I know," Tyler said. "But how do you know that?"

Chuck knew he was treading dangerous waters but he didn't know why he was letting it get to him. Blair and him had no relationship whatsoever—as far as Tyler was concerned.

But Chuck still felt it eating at him.

"She told me," he finally said.

"Why would my sister tell you anything?" Tyler asked. "She hates you."

"We share common ground," Chuck said coolly.

"Yeah?" Tyler looked doubtful, but finally Chuck could smile.

"Yes," Chuck replied. "You."

Finally Tyler smiled back and nodded. The voices were escalating on the other side of the wall and it was getting harder and harder to ignore.

"Let's get out of here," Tyler said, getting to his feet. Chuck smiled in relief as he joined him.

When they reached the downstairs, Eleanor called from the kitchen. Chuck had no choice but to trail behind Tyler as he went before his mother.

"How is your sister faring?" Eleanor asked casually.

"It looks like she'll be kicking out Nate momentarily," Tyler said smoothly. Chuck appreciated how Tyler wouldn't let his mother goad him into answers he knew were expected.

"I wonder why that is." Chuck took a step back as Eleanor threw him a knowing stare. Tyler took it all in stride, not even bothered by his mother's insinuation.

"We were going to go out, Mom," Tyler said, changing the subject.

Though Eleanor cast a spiteful look at Chuck, she smiled at her son. "Where to?"

Chuck wasn't sure if this was even the same woman he had seen demean her only daughter many times before. He watched Eleanor and her loving demeanor with Tyler and he couldn't understand it. It would never make sense to him how a parent could have preferential treatment for a child. Especially when all Blair did was try to please her.

Even so, just as Tyler was about to speak again, heavy steps were heard on the staircase. Nate was walking slowly down the stairs, clearly defeated in the fight that had occurred upstairs.

As though Nate didn't even know he was there, he shouldered past Chuck passively, greeting Eleanor politely.

"Mrs. Waldorf."

"Nathaniel," Eleanor said genuinely as they exchanged pleasantly. "It's so good to see you here. I trust your holiday is going well."

"It could be better," Nate said admittedly.

They shared a smile and Chuck resisted the urge to roll his eyes. All this smiling made his own jaw hurt.

"You know how dramatic Blair can be," Eleanor assured Nate. "She doesn't really mean any of it. She'll come around."

"I hope so," Nate said. "I don't know what I'd do without her."

Chuck and Tyler shared doubtful looks at Nate's statement. But their exchange was once again down staged.

"You are devastatingly mistaken."

Eleanor sighed and turned to see her daughter across the threshold.

"Blair," she said to her daughter. "Could you postpone the theatrics? We have company."

"Company?" Blair asked laughingly. "You mean my traitorous ex-boyfriend?"

"Don't be ridiculous," Eleanor said. "You two haven't broken up."

"You can't just invalidate my feelings," Blair said. "You have no idea—"

"I'm sure you'll recover," Eleanor said coolly. They exchanged cold looks for a moment before Blair broke away. She knew there was no way she could triumph over her mother.

Instead she whirled around to face Nate. "I thought you were leaving."

"Since the notorious statutory date rapist is here, I figured I was okay," Nate said easily. Chuck's eyes widened with surprise. So Nathaniel had noticed him. But what wasn't surprising was that even Nate was aware of his reputation. They had broken ties a long time ago.

Tyler looked away from his mother awkwardly. The words hung heavy on the air. Chuck hadn't even known that Nate had the capacity to form a clever retort on the spot.

But it hadn't fazed Blair in the slightest.

"At least he's not a cheater," Blair responded coolly.

It was Nate's turn to be embarrassed.

Not that Blair's words mattered.

"Nathaniel, why don't you come back later," Eleanor suggested. "Blair needs time to cool down."

"What?" Blair asked in disbelief.

"I don't want you to take anything she says the wrong way," Eleanor continued pointedly. "You know how she can get."

"Stop talking about me like I'm not standing right here."

The more Chuck watched Eleanor take power away from her daughter, the more Blair regressed into an insecure fourteen-year-old girl.

And everyone was just going along with it. He couldn't stand to see it, but no one could take a stand up against Eleanor.

It was working in Nate's favor anyway.

"Of course," Nate smiled pleasantly. He placed a chaste kiss on Blair's resistant cheek. "I'll talk to you later."

No retort came from Blair. She just stared after him defiantly, silenced by her mother's mere presence.

An Upper East Side confrontation was always rare, but when it came to Blair Waldorf, there was never a lack of drama. It was in everyone's practice to just pretend it hadn't happened.

Without another word, Eleanor did exactly that by just walking out of the room, pretending that her daughter wasn't even there.

* * *

><p>Blair could feel him hesitating outside of her room.<p>

"You can come it," she said in an exhausted voice.

Tyler crossed the threshold.

"I know," he said, giving the Waldorf smirk. "I just wanted to make sure you were alright."

"Never better," Blair replied dryly. But she could feel her brother's eyes on the suitcase that was conveniently by the door and she sighed.

"Don't pay attention to him," Tyler said. "It doesn't mean anything."

"Nate?"

"Chuck," Tyler said as though it were the only answer in the world. "I know you. And I love you. Don't let him get to you."

"No one is getting to me," Blair said stubbornly. "Least of all him."

"You know what I mean."

"Please, elaborate," Blair said sarcastically.

"I don't want there to be distance between us."

She finally relented. She beckoned for him and he crawled onto her bed next to her.

It was something they had always done ever since they were small children. It had been the only way to block out the fights and accusations of infidelity—until there was just silence.

"I'm always going to love you," Blair said comfortingly. "No matter what."

"So you're going to stay before you go back to school?" Tyler asked smoothly.

Blair laughed. "Manipulator."

"I learned from the best," Tyler responded.

"I know," Blair teased back. "Though I don't know how you ended up so sweet."

"Sweet?" Tyler asked laughingly.

"I had more time with Daddy than you did."

"And what does that prove?" Tyler asked, darkness overtaking his tone. "Father was the sweet one?"

"I learned all of what I am from Mother," Blair reminded him.

"He left us, Blair," Tyler said. "How can you forgive him for that?"

"He didn't leave us, he left her," Blair said. "How can you blame him for that?"

"We keep having this conversation," Tyler said. "I don't want to talk about it anymore. Do you want to keep talking about your problems with Mom?"

"They're her problems with me," Blair said. "You know Daddy would be more than happy if you spoke to him again."

"Mom loves you," Tyler said, "in her own way. She just doesn't know how to show it."

"She shows it to you spectacularly."

"She has higher expectations for you," Tyler said. "You're going to inherit the family honor. It's a matriarchal family now."

"She doesn't want me to be happy."

"She thinks an easy marriage will make you happy," Tyler said.

"It'll make her happy," Blair said. "What has an easy marriage done for anyone? All it gave her was divorce and depression."

"She doesn't know that's how you feel," Tyler said. "So make her."

"And if I told you to make Daddy understand your feelings, what would you do?" Blair asked pointedly.

"Alright," Tyler replied. "We're both avoiders."

Blair smiled faintly. "Yes."

"If you don't love Nate," Tyler finally said, "don't be with him. He doesn't make you happy. And being with him will never be enough for Mom."

"You are the golden child."

"For her. And you are for Father."

"Daddy loves you," Blair said in frustration. She hated this—all of it.

"You think Mom doesn't?"

"I think she wants me to be someone else. Daddy would never ask that of you."

"But Nate asks that of you."

"You don't know what happened," Blair said sharply.

"I know that you could so easily go back to him."

"What do you suggest?" Blair asked. "Drop out of Yale?"

"It's a big school."

"And demons have a way of catching up with you."

"Is that why you hate him?" Tyler asked coolly.

It was clear that they weren't talking about Nate any longer.

Blair sighed. "I hate him because he sees too much."

"That's why we're best friends," Tyler said smartly.

"Choose your friends wisely," Blair advised quietly.

"You say that from personal experience?" Tyler asked knowingly.

Blair cast him a look. "Don't worry. I'll always love you. You're blood."

"Mom's blood."

"Goodnight, Tyler."

He smiled, getting up from the bed.

"See you in the morning."

Blair smiled after him, but as soon as he left the room, she let it fall. She waited a few moments before throwing her suitcase on the bed. She unzipped it, starting to pile clothes into it.


	8. Winter VII

Walking down to breakfast that morning, Chuck was surprised to see Tyler already there. The boy was sitting sullenly at the table and Chuck knew instantly that something was wrong.

He sat next to Tyler while the maid served them breakfast. Chuck glanced at Tyler who was stabbing at his food delicately.

"I wouldn't figure your sister to be anything but punctual," Chuck said. "She loves to keep a schedule."

Tyler looked up at him for a moment before returning to his food. "Blair's gone."

"Gone?"

"She was gone when I got up this morning," Tyler said. Chuck could detect the bitterness in his voice.

"I thought she wasn't leaving until later."

"So did I."

But even as Tyler said it, his dark eyes landed on Chuck. Chuck had hoped that the disappointment hadn't seeped into his voice, but it was clear that he was wrong. He knew he had no reason to be disappointed. There would no longer be any abuse from the Ice Queen herself. But there also wouldn't be anything else. And it was everything else that worried Chuck. It worried him how much he already missed it. He knew how bad this girl was for him. She was dangerous.

"I would have thought that you'd be happy," Tyler said. Chuck knew he was goading him into something that he didn't want to reveal.

Tyler didn't know anything. That Chuck was sure of. He had to be or he would drive himself insane. But that didn't detract from the fact that Tyler was smart. The truth would come out eventually.

"Happy doesn't even begin to describe the euphoria I feel in the absence of your sister," Chuck covered coolly.

Blair did provide euphoria. But it was the wrong kind. And even though Tyler seemed to accept this, as he usually accepted his best friend's explanations, Chuck couldn't help but be wary. He should have been glad that Blair had returned to school. That way he wouldn't be caught in any mistruths that seemed to occur when she was around. That would have been the logical thing. He should be glad.

But for some reason, he wasn't.

* * *

><p>For the first time, Blair finally felt at home. Though it was in freshman dorms when she really belonged in a penthouse, this was were she was meant to be—the Ivy League.<p>

Blair took a step into the room, dropping her bag on the floor dramatically as her roommate looked up at her.

"You're back," Sloane Peters said brightly.

When it came to her roommate, the likeness wasn't lost on Blair. Sloane was a privileged beauty from a wealthy suburb in Connecticut. Most of all, she was blonde and bubbly. Blair knew how much she resembled a certain ex-best friend of hers. But at the moment, she couldn't be happier to see her only friend in the world.

"I thought you were staying in New York for another week."

"So did I," Blair said, throwing her bag on the bed. "Plans changed."

"What happened?" Sloane asked, clearly prepared for dirt.

Blair hesitated. She knew how close she and Sloane had become, even in the four months they had known each other. But she still felt guarded. She had done something she never thought she would. But there was no question that this wasn't being kept a secret.

"Come on," Sloane said impatiently. And with that, Blair smiled slightly. Sloane was infectious. But that didn't stop the darkness that surrounded Blair.

She finally caved. "I did something so stupid."

Sloane stared at her impatiently.

"Is that it?"

"Your esteem for me will be irrevocably shattered."

"Impossible," Sloane said, waving that away. "If anyone is due for a mistake, it's you."

"That's just it," Blair said. "I made this mistake. But now that I have, I don't have the moral high ground anymore."

"Nate cheated on you," Sloane said. "You have the high ground."

"Even if I did something equally as repulsive?"

"Unless it was incest," Sloane said, "I don't really see how that's possible."

"I had it in my mind if I could just hurt Nate the way he hurt me, I could move on," Blair said. "But now I know I can never tell anyone."

Sloane was serious now. "What happened?"

Blair was certain she could never tell anyone. But she still needed to understand what had happened to her. And the only way to do that was bluntly reveal it.

"I fucked my little brother's best friend."

Sloane just stared at her for a moment. It was the reaction Blair had been expecting.

"Blair," Sloane said distinctly. "Your brother's sixteen."

"I know," Blair said curtly. "You see my dilemma."

Sloane soaked that in for a moment. Finally she nodded.

"Well it's not that bad," she said. "You earned some revenge sex for what Nate did with Serena. Even if it is borderline statutory rape."

Blair glowered at her.

"Who is this mystery guy?" Sloane asked, clearly more intrigued with the dirty details.

Blair took a deep breath. "The late Bartholomew Bass' son."

"Chuck Bass?" Sloane asked, shocked. "You fucked Chuck Bass?"

"I see you're familiar," Blair said dryly.

"Bart Bass owns more towers than Trump," Sloane said. "I'm not from the Ozarks. I know who he is."

"Unfortunately."

"Who was on top?" Sloane asked salaciously, desperate for more details.

Blair just sat in silence.

"No surprise, there," Sloane replied.

She then looked at Blair carefully.

"Was he...good?"

Blair looked anywhere but her roommate's face.

"Better than Nate?" Sloane asked in surprise.

There was still no answer.

"Oh my god."

"He's Chuck Bass," Blair said in annoyed defense.

"So not only did you let a minor pleasure you-"

"He's only six months younger than me," Blair reminded her.

"-But he pales in comparison to the future leader of America that is your golden boyfriend."

"Ex-boyfriend," Blair reminded her. "And it's not that bad. He's a year older than Tyler. He's seventeen."

"So why are you stressing about this?" Sloane asked. "We established that Nate doesn't actually have the moral high ground anymore. He deserved it. Unless this wasn't just for revenge..."

"I hate Nate for what he's done," Blair cut her off. "Driving me into the arms of my little brother's adolescent best friend."

"Did you cuddle?" Sloane smirked.

Blair wrinkled her nose delicately.

"It was slightly exhausting," Blair said carefully. "We may have...rested."

"And you made your escape, peeling his arm from your waist," Sloane filled in. "Gross."

"He's obsessed with you," Sloane said fondly.

"I think that's jumping the gun slightly," Blair said, though somehow, not as defensive.

"You know it," Sloane rolled her eyes.

The conversation had taken such an uncomfortable turn, that Blair was glad when there was a knock on the door. She made her way past Sloane, opening it without even checking to see whom it was.

And then she realized that she should have.

"Nate."

Sloane perked up immediately, looking over towards her roommate's ex-boyfriend.

"Hey, Sloane," Nate waved cordially.

But Blair was cold. "What are you doing here?"

"I want to talk," he replied. "You can't keep shutting me out like this, Blair."

Blair looked over her shoulder at Sloane who was hanging on to every word. Blair knew she owed it to Nate to at least have this conversation in private.

"I know," she sighed, nodding. He looked pleased at this affirmation and they both moved into the hallway as Blair closed the door behind them. "We need to talk."

Nate smiled warmly. She almost wanted to pity him for thinking this was going to go any other way than badly.

"Good," Nate said. "I really think—"

"We need to have the mature conversation," Blair said. "I can't avoid you. It isn't helping either of us to move on."

"Move on?" Nate asked.

"We broke up, Nate."

"I thought that was just a fight."

"You cheated on me," Blair said. "Do you really expect me to just get past that?"

"I miss you," Nate said. "I know we've both made mistakes—"

"Have we?" Blair asked cruelly, blocking out any memories of a New Year's Eve party from her mind.

Nate sighed. "What happened when I came by to your house wasn't what I wanted."

"And what did you want with Serena?"

"I just want to get past this."

"You mean you want me to forgive you," Blair said.

"You're right," Nate said. "I do want us to move on. But I want us to move on together. What happened with Serena was a mistake. You're the one I want."

"Nate, I think you should leave," Blair said quietly. It wasn't cold, but it was distant, and she could see the hope fading from his eyes.

"I can't leave it like this."

"All I can tell you is that I'll think about it," Blair said. "Goodnight."

She turned back to her room, shutting the door behind her again.

"So you're going to get back together with him," Sloane said pointedly. Blair couldn't deny anything. "What are you going to do?"

"What I have to," she said softly.

"So you're not going to tell him."

"Clearly," Blair said. "As far as Nate's concerned, nothing happened. And so am I."

Sloane smiled.

Blair appreciated that she wasn't disagreeing with her. But the silence still hung heavily on the air.

* * *

><p>"You seemed to have cleaned up well."<p>

Chuck and Tyler were sitting in the living room of the van der Woodsens' with Eric, newly returned from a triumph of a debate in Massachusetts.

Chuck looked at him pointedly.

"I heard about the party you threw while Mom was gone," Eric elaborated.

"It wasn't exactly a secret," Chuck said. "Like Lily wouldn't have approved anyway. She's a van der Woodsen."

"Meaning?"

"You're the one who's the black sheep," Chuck teased. "You don't like parties."

"I like yours," Eric teased back. "Though Mom does seem to be so enamored with her new husband, she'll be staying there with the new family for awhile."

"I'd be hurt if I wasn't bred for it," Chuck said dryly. "And where's your worse half?"

"Serena's bound to be back at school by now," Eric said easily.

"Really?" Chuck said. "A whole new semester? You don't think that's a little much for her brain to handle?"

"Obviously you have an opinion on the subject," Eric said.

"Chuck," Tyler said warningly. Eric studied his brother and his best friend.

"What am I missing?" Eric asked.

"A lot," Chuck smirked.

"I don't think she would want her private life being discussed," Tyler said quietly.

"Oh, you mean Blair," Eric said.

"You know?" Tyler asked.

"Serena's my sister," Eric said. "And you know she's sorry about it."

"About what?" Chuck asked slyly.

Tyler rolled his eyes at him. "Are you really going to do that?"

"I think it should just be all on the table," Chuck said unapologetically.

"Serena confided in me that her brief liaison with Nate was-" Eric started.

"Disappointing?" Chuck asked.

"You really have a problem with Nate," Tyler said, finally allowing himself to smile.

"Like everyone else in this room," Chuck said.

"She regrets it," Eric said. "And I'm not getting in the middle."

"Who's getting in the middle?" Chuck asked.

"You do keep bringing it up," Tyler pointed out.

"Pardon me for being intrigued by scandal," Chuck said. "I just feel sorry for Serena. She's going to have a difficult semester with Blair lusting for her head on a plate."

"Not getting in the middle," Eric reminded him. "And neither should you. Serena is legally your sister, you know."

"Which would be a problem if I actually liked Blair," Chuck said.

"I didn't think Serena had told you anything," Eric said thoughtfully.

"She didn't," Tyler said curtly.

"What happened?" Eric asked.

"This is getting slightly into gossip territory," Tyler said, his tone bored. "Let's leave that to our sisters. I'm ready to actually go out and have fun now."

"Out?" Chuck asked.

He felt two pairs of eyes on him and he became uneasy.

Something was wrong. Usually he would be more than willing to accompany Tyler on a pub-crawl. But something in him felt ill.

He hated it. He wished he could recede far into his denial, but he knew what it was. She was on the tip of everyone's tongues and no one was saying anything. Just being near Tyler was disconcerting.

He thought he could push her away, indulging in her experience for only a night and then forget about it. As much as she irritated him, there was no denying the appeal she had. She was intelligent and sharp and he couldn't help but let his eyes stray towards her.

But it had progressed far beyond that. He was thinking about her more than normal—all the time. And Tyler's dark eyes were studying him in a way that made him feel like he was being x-rayed.

It was like he knew.

Blair should have been out of his mind by now.

But something was different. She had certainly provided entertainment for him while she was here. But now she was gone. And something was different. Her screaming rage and general horribleness towards him was somewhat of a drug. He loved indulging in it. But now that it was gone, he couldn't help but miss it.

He never thought of himself as a masochist but there was something about her that made it good. And he finally had to admit it.

He missed her.

And now that Tyler and even Eric were staring at him expectantly. He knew that he was behaving suspiciously.

"We were going to go out tonight," Tyler said. "Celebrate that Eric's back."

"And that school's starting?" Chuck asked, covering his tracks easily. "No thanks."

"Like you attend class anyway," Eric laughed.

"I just don't think it's a good idea," Chuck said. But even as he did, it sounded foreign on his tongue. He didn't sound like himself at all and he couldn't help but blame it on her.

"You're passing up an opportunity to get laid?" Tyler asked. "Did hell just freeze over?"

Chuck shrugged.

"Did my sister talk to you or something?"

"What are you talking about?" Chuck asked. He was sure that he was pulling off genuine confusion quite spectacularly, despite the fact that he didn't have to ask. And he hated himself even more for being so desperate to talk about her.

"Blair is a pit bull when it comes to protecting Tyler," Eric said admittedly.

"I couldn't care less what your judgmental sister thinks," Chuck said.

"Alright," Tyler said.

Chuck could still tell that he didn't quite believe him.

* * *

><p>Blair used to love being on the arm of Nate Archibald. Even as teenagers, everyone fawned over them like they were already at their wedding. Nothing seemed like it could ever go wrong.<p>

And then it did.

Now, this was just a sickening shadow of what used to be. Even at Yale, frat parties still felt degrading to her, and being the date of her cheating ex just felt vile.

She still smiled. It was what she was good at. She could create that illusion since her coming out and tonight was no different. She smiled and pretended because no one could know the humiliation she suffered from Nate Archibald.

"Drink?" Nate asked, smiling. She couldn't tell if he was really happy or just putting on a show for her. She knew how dense he could be. It didn't take much to please him. A part of her just wanted him to suffer like she had.

"As long as it doesn't come in a red plastic cup," Blair said curtly. He didn't react to her evident passive-aggression. He was so desperate to make it work that he was actually happy.

She watched him socialize with his lacrosse teammates, wishing it were that easy for her. She could stand tall and smile, but the difference was, he actually felt it. He was so assured that their relationship was back on track. All Blair wanted to do was leave. That feeling increased when Nate eased his arm around her shoulders, kissing her cheek in a way that was far too familiar for her at this stage.

He was supposed to be groveling at her feet. But she knew even that was too much to ask for. She was about ready to make him aware of this, when she felt all the energy drain from the room.

Everyone was still talking and engaged, but was also aware of the statuesque blonde that entered the room. Serena always had that effect on people. No matter where she was, everyone always turned to stare at her. Blair was always the shadow to Serena's light.

With that, she extricated herself from Nate's grasp easily.

"Blair, wait," Serena said, catching sight of her.

Nate also tried grasping after her, but Blair slid easily through the crowd. She knew that she was trying to be an adult with Nate, but Serena was a different matter. She hadn't even sorted her feelings out with her best friend. Since the recent incident during New Years, she was an emotional wreck. She didn't know what she felt anymore. All she knew was she had to get away.

Even if hiding in the bathroom was immature.

But she just wasn't ready. She had to suppress the urge to smother her ex-best friend. It was safer in here.

Blair took her phone out without thinking. Scrolling through her contacts, she pressed send without hesitation. She paced the bathroom, listening to it ring on the other line. She began to get impatient, listening to the endless chimes on the other end. She was about to hang up until—

"_Hello_?"

His voice was rushed and all she could feel was a swell of anger.

"What are you doing answering my brother's phone?" Blair snapped.

"_Blair_," Chuck drawled lazily, though it was clear he knew it was her before he even picked up. "_Don't you have any actual friends you can socialize with besides your brother?"_

"I know you don't," Blair snapped.

"_I can't help being just irresistibly intriguing_," Chuck said.

"Did you take him to a bar?" Blair accused.

"_Not that you should have any say_," Chuck continued, "_but no. We're at home, actually_."

"Home?"

"_My house_," Chuck said. "_Eric's here too since you're obviously so irritatingly inquisitive. You really do need to get a hobby_."

"You're not going out tonight?" Blair asked doubtfully.

"_Why is everyone surprised that I on occasion can have benders at my house as well as in a public bar?"_ Chuck asked.

"Don't tell me this was your idea," Blair said doubtfully.

"_We seem to be having a better time than you, if you have to call from a party_," Chuck said, "_as it sounds_."

Blair was quiet for a moment.

"_How's Serena?"_ he asked.

"What do you know?" she asked.

"_You're not as vicious as you usually are_," Chuck said. "_And I know when I hear a party on the other end of a phone_."

"You're talented." Her voice wasn't sharp, but distant.

"_Did you see her?"_ he asked.

"Just now."

"_How is she?"_

"How is _she_?" Blair asked.

"_Considering it's obvious she's getting frostbite from your cold shoulder_," Chuck said, "_yes_."

"You obviously know everything."

"_As we've established."_

"I can't forgive her."

"_I didn't ask."_

"Did you always know?" Blair asked tentatively.

"_I remember you_," Chuck said. "_You may be a bitch, but you only lash out when it's warranted. I just happened to be the only one who could take it."_

"I don't want to hurt anyone," Blair said. "But—"

"_But she hurt you first_," Chuck said. "_It's understandable to be affected."_

"Thank you, Chuck."

In a horrifying moment, she realized that she was smiling into the phone and she had just exhibited gratitude to Chuck Bass.

"_My pleasure."_ She could tell from his voice how he was absorbing the strange atmosphere as well.

"If you tell anyone about this, I will destroy you," Blair snapped before hastily hanging up.

It didn't matter that she had been originally searching for Tyler and that there was actually something therapeutic about talking to the bastard. She was feeling something that wasn't hatred or disgust and she had never been more frightened in her life.

She knew it was a slim chance that he would call back. But she still stared at her phone.

She hesitated for a moment before powering her phone down and exiting the bathroom.


	9. Winter IIX

**A/N**: Sorry for the delay. I've been really busy for the past month and I might be submitting less. But I'll update as frequently as I can. Thanks to those who are still reading!

**Summary**: He had been waiting, the phone against his ear, for minutes before he realized she had hung up. For the first time, she was talking to him as though he were a human being. He wasn't sure how he felt about it.

**Disclaimer**: Nothing belongs to me. All characters are taken or inspired by Gossip Girl. Thanks to suspensegirl for beta'ing.

* * *

><p>Closing the bathroom door behind her, it wasn't that difficult to slip through the party discreetly. But for a moment, she wished she still had the protection of that barrier. The sight of Serena conversing easily with athletes like she had done nothing wrong was enough to make Blair ill.<p>

Luckily for her, Serena was too absorbed with the attention of Jens from the lacrosse team to realize Blair had slipped past her.

"You're leaving?"

She wasn't as skilled when it came to evading Nate.

She tried to lose him on the way back to the dorm, but he was deceptively quick.

"Clearly," Blair said curtly as she made her way across campus. But even with Nate's haggard breath and clear inebriation, he kept in stride with her.

He was an athlete.

"I'll walk you back to your dorm."

Since turning him away was pointless due to the fact they were halfway there already, Blair allowed it. She felt him at her side, but they walked in silence. Blair practically gave a glare to every couple walking hand in hand that they passed. Nate was clearly oblivious even if it was so apparent to her how strained they were.

It wasn't even her fault. She knew that she was holding in so much resentment and she had her own fill of bad decisions, but those were things Nate didn't even know about. She was so filled with anger; she couldn't help but pity Nate. He was so simple. He knew she was hurt, but all he knew was how to beg. And for some reason, it really wasn't enough for her anymore.

Blair finally reached her door with a sigh of relief.

Nate still wasn't leaving.

"This is me," Blair said pointedly. He had seen her door but he was still looking at her with some sort of expectation she didn't even want to indulge any time soon.

"I had a nice night," Nate smiled finally. Blair was fully prepared to deflect his affection, but he came in quick and unexpectedly. His mouth tasted of rum and she slid out of his grasp, concealing her gag reflex.

"Sure," she said uncomfortably, finally finding her way into her room.

"Blair—" Nate said drunkenly.

"Goodnight, Nate," Blair cut him off, shutting the door in his face.

"Well that was awkward."

Blair turned around quickly and immediately rolled her eyes at Sloane sitting in bed. Blair climbed her own, easing her shoes off of her feet.

"Weren't you supposed to have a date tonight?" Blair asked, smoothly changing the subject.

"He got held up." Blair looked up in surprise at Sloane's evasiveness.

Usually the girl was more than forthcoming. But she didn't question it.

"You know," Sloane continued, switching the conversation back just as smoothly. "Telling Nate about Chuck would actually complete your revenge."

"I don't want anyone to know," Blair said decisively.

"But then why did you do it?" Sloane asked, "if you weren't going to prove something?"

"Why did it have to prove something?" Blair snapped.

"Because that was the whole point," Sloane said. "But maybe you haven't addressed the possibility that maybe it actually did mean something."

"He called me," Blair said quietly.

"What?"

"Well," Blair amended, "I called him."

"_What_?"

"He picked up my brother's phone," Blair protested. She didn't know why she was relinquishing all this precious information. But she didn't have anyone to really talk to. And Sloane never judged.

"So he saw that it was you," Sloane pointed out.

"You don't know that."

It was clear how far in denial Blair had spiraled.

* * *

><p>"Who was on the phone?"<p>

Chuck was sitting in the same position, Tyler's phone in his hand. He had been waiting, the phone against his ear, for minutes before he realized she had hung up. For the first time, she was talking to him as though he were a human being. He wasn't sure how he felt about it.

It was suddenly occurring to him that her bravado wasn't bravado at all. Maybe she had suddenly stopped caring. He knew when he was affecting her because she would react unfavorably. But now she was tolerant of him.

He was still holding the phone.

What was really irritating him was that he hadn't had the chance to hang up on her first. He knew how beneficial dominance was, but he didn't know what this was. In every relationship he had—which usually only lasted as long as a breath mint—he was the dominant one. He abhorred the idea of bowing down to someone else. But this was different.

This didn't feel like subservience. This felt… fun. For the first time in his life, a girl wasn't boring him. And this was after he had slept with her. He… liked her.

He liked her.

Tyler was still looking at him and Chuck dropped the phone.

This was going to get unpleasant. He knew it was inevitable. He just wanted to put it off for as long as possible.

It was also inevitable that Tyler would figure out the truth—about who was on the phone. Lying was pointless. The phone call was logged. But what really worried Chuck was that he was worrying about lying at all. It was just an innocent phone call. But he was acting like it wasn't when he shouldn't be. Tyler didn't know anything. But even Chuck knew he was acting suspiciously.

"It was your sister," Chuck finally said. "She hung up."

"Why would she do that?" Tyler asked in confusion.

"It seemed like she was having a bad night," Chuck said. "I don't think she could stay on the line for you."

"Why does it seem like you know more about my sister lately than I do?" Tyler asked. It wasn't exactly suspicion, but it wasn't trust either.

"I don't know," Chuck said. "She was calling you, not me, remember?"

Tyler gave Chuck one last look before picking up his phone. He hit redial, holding it to his ear.

Chuck wished he had the ability to stop staring. He knew that he was listening intently to a potential conversation that should mean nothing to him. Chuck didn't know when he lost his stealth, but it was really starting to annoy him.

"It's going straight to voicemail." For a moment, he was actually worried. He couldn't remember a time when Blair's phone was off. Especially since she had apparently just finished speaking to Chuck.

But he wiped that thought away.

"Maybe she's with Nate."

Chuck was relieved to see Tyler roll his eyes at this.

His paranoia was getting the best of him.

* * *

><p>"Blair's not here."<p>

Nate stood uncomfortably in the doorway as Blair's humorless roommate opened the door.

"I'm not here for Blair," Nate said. Sloane looked at him doubtfully in the doorway of the room.

"Can I come in?" Sloane had never heard Nate Archibald sound so desperate. She almost felt sorry for him. But she knew exactly what he had done to Blair and what her job description for being a good friend meant.

"Fine." That didn't mean she wasn't going to entertain herself.

She let Nate walk into the room and she shut the door behind him.

She knew exactly how this conversation was going to go.

"I know what Blair must have said—"

"You're a cheating bastard who can't tell his girlfriend's legs from some skank she thought was her friend?"

Nate's eyes widened with surprise. He was speechless for moment, taken aback by her sudden attack. She gazed at him without any apparent remorse.

"So," Nate said, recovering. "I see that she told you."

"Like she would have to," Sloane said. "Everyone knows. That's what's so humiliating for her."

Sloane looked at Nate curiously.

"It's like you don't even know your own girlfriend."

"I'm just trying to make things better," Nate said.

"I admire your confidence," Sloane said.

Nate looked at her carefully. "What does that mean?"

"You really think you can win her back so easily?" Sloane asked. "You must really think you're worth her."

"I've known her my entire life."

"And still you treat her with such disrespect," Sloane said. "What makes you think she hasn't moved on yet?"

"That's not Blair," Nate said.

"Sleeping with the first thing she lays her eyes on?" Sloane asked. "No. It's really not."

Nate exhaled at the pointed snipe.

"Was it really that easy?" Sloane asked. "Just one look at her and you forgot everything you ever promised your girlfriend?"

Nate was silent for a moment. It sounded as though Sloane was actually curious. But to be honest, Nate couldn't really understand it either. He didn't know why he did it.

"Is just happened."

"What if it were reversed?" Sloane asked. "Would you accept that as an answer from Blair?"

Nate looked hesitant. He studied her as an uncomfortable silence stretched between them.

"She wouldn't do that," Nate said quietly. But he looked back at Sloane. "Would she?"

He was looking at her with complete seriousness, and Sloane had to pause. It would be so easy. All the hurt and dramatics would be over.

"No," Sloane said. "Of course she wouldn't do that."

It would open up so many more wounds. Blair would be even more humiliated and Nate wouldn't come out unscathed.

She knew what Blair wanted. What Blair wanted was Nate. She wanted easy and simple.

At least, that was what she thought she wanted.

"My advice?" Sloane asked. "Dump Serena. You aren't helping anyone."

Sloane held the door open for him. Nate knew that disarming smile. And he knew that he didn't have a choice. The door shut loudly behind him.

* * *

><p>"<em>Hello<em>?"

When Blair dialed her brother again, the right person finally picked up.

Blair sighed with relief she hadn't been sure she was even holding in. She couldn't understand the sudden anxiety she felt when she listened to the rings on the other end.

"Tyler."

"_Blair_."

She paused for a moment. There was an edge to her brother's voice she had never heard before.

"I tried calling before."

"_I know."_

Again, she stopped short. She didn't know what to say. A pregnant pause stretched between them awkwardly.

"_Did you want something?"_ Tyler finally asked. He sounded tired and Blair couldn't help but feel hurt.

"Is something wrong?" Blair asked curtly. If there was one person she hated playing this game with, it was her little brother.

"_I'm sorry_," Tyler said, admitting the tension between them. "_I'm just busy."_

"Busy," Bair repeated doubtfully. "With Chuck?"

"_Chuck_?" Tyler asked in confusion. "_Why would I be busy with Chuck?"_

"Because," Blair said, finally relenting. "I know that Daddy's been trying to call you and you're ignoring it."

"_And you're thinking what?"_ Tyler asked. "_That Chuck's a distraction?"_

Blair was pointedly silent. Tyler understood completely.

"_What would you have me do?"_ Tyler asked.

"Try," Blair said. "Just pick up the phone.

"_You know I can't,"_ Tyler said. "_I'm your little brother, remember?"_

She heard the joke in her little brother's voice.

"_You know better than anyone."_

"He just wanted to talk to you, Tyler," Blair sighed.

"_I'm not pressuring you to talk to Mom_," Tyler said.

"At least I give her the time of day."

"_It's not the same."_

"I wish you could see that it is," Blair said. She wanted more than anything to speak to her brother without any of the things unsaid festering beneath the surface. But as soon as she opened her mouth, she saw the last person that she ever wanted to see walking towards her.

"I have to go, Tyler," Blair said regretfully. "I'll talk to you later."

She hung up the phone before he had a chance to respond.

"Hey."

Nate really was deceptively quick.

He smiled at her, elevating Blair's instinct to run. But she knew whatever she had with Nate had to be resolved. Even if he was pretending that everything was fine.

"Hi," Blair smiled tightly. She stared at him, almost relishing at how he awkwardly shifted from one foot to another.

It was the only victory she could have.

"I wanted to talk."

"So talk."

"Blair," Nate said.

"You think I'm going to make this easy for you?" Blair asked. She didn't know where all of this sudden hostility was coming from. But after her phone call with her little brother, she couldn't help but want to blame everyone but herself.

This whole mess wasn't her fault. And Nate was just making it worse.

"I know that…" Nate sighed, "your heart really isn't into us right now."

"Very deductive."

"Blair," he said again.

She just smiled at him. It was the only safe reaction.

"I really think I can make this up to you."

"Do you?" Blair asked in genuine surprise. "And how are you going to do that?"

"I know I hurt you," Nate said.

"You are just full of observations today," she said dryly.

"If you had slept with someone else, I would understand."

Blair stared at him blankly. She could honestly admit that was one thing that she hadn't seen coming.

"What?"

"I cheated on you," Nate said. "And I know you. If you wanted to get even, I'd understand. I deserve it. And I suppose we weren't technically together over the break."

"We still aren't," Blair said in a clipped tone.

"You've been avoiding me," Nate said. "I haven't even talked to you since the party."

"Can you blame me?" Blair asked. "Having your concubine show up threw me a little off my game."

"I love you, Blair," Nate said without even blinking. "And if you're going to toy with me for what I've done, I'd like to know."

"Look at you," Blair whispered dangerously. "Putting your foot down. Trying to take charge like you even know how to."

"I'd like to know now so I wouldn't have to wonder what it would take to get you back," Nate said strongly, ignoring her verbal barb.

"You'd still want to be with me after that?" Blair asked in surprise.

"I love you," Nate repeated.

But that wasn't really an answer either.

"Don't follow me."

That was the only indication she gave Nate before turning her back on him. Having a question of conscience was enough, but her adulterous boyfriend pining after her was not something she wanted to deal with. She didn't want any of this. But every decision—however in the heat of the moment or impulsive—lead her down an even rockier path.

Leaving Nate in the middle of the quad was the best course of action.

She had something more pressing to deal with.

"How could you?"

Blair slammed the door of the room behind her.

Sloane of course was there. At least she looked surprised.

"What could you possibly be blaming me for?"

"Did you talk to Nate?"

Sloane sighed. "I didn't say anything he didn't already know."

"Really," Blair spat. "Because he brought up the fact that if I followed him down the path of adultery, he would be more than understanding."

"And what?" Sloane asked. "You think I voluntarily brought up the subject of Chuck Bass—

"Don't," Blair stiffened. Even hearing the name set her on edge.

"Nate isn't that clever," Sloane said. "He wouldn't hold on to that information to use at a later date. If he knew you had an amorous lover, he would let you know."

"Please," Blair sneered. "_Chuck_ is not… amorous. And that's beside the point. Nate said he would let it go."

"Saying it and actually realizing that the girl you think you're going to marry cheated on you with a high school boy, heir to a billion dollar hotel enterprise are two very different things."

Blair finally sighed, sitting on her bed. "I can't do this anymore."

"It doesn't seem like you're doing much of anything."

"I can't keep," Blair said, "vacillating between guilt and… whatever Nate is."

"Then you have to make a choice," Sloane said simply.

"I know," Blair answered. "I think I already have."

"You have."

"The only way to get past this… is to get past this."

Sloane was quiet after that. It was the first time Blair noticed her preening in the mirror.

"Going somewhere?"

Sloane turned towards her. Her smile turned sly and Blair knew how completely transparent she was.

"Why?" she asked.

"Nothing," Blair said hastily.

"Nothing?" Sloane asked doubtfully.

"Well now that you bring it up," Blair said casually, "do you think you might see Serena while you're out? You two do seem to travel in similar circles."

"Serena?" Sloane asked, ignoring the insinuation. "Why do you ask?"

"My father asked me about her."

"So?"

"So," Blair said, slightly uncomfortable about the openness of the conversation. "No one seems to know where she is."

"I thought you liked it that way."

Blair shrugged.

"I wouldn't worry about Nate straying again," Sloane mentioned.

"Once was bad enough."

"His curiosity is satisfied now."

"Is it that easy for you?" Blair asked. "What if the person you loved was lying to you? Betraying you with your best friend."

Sloane was still. Blair could read anyone and she knew something had hit her.

"It's not easy," Sloane finally said, shaking it off. "But I just wouldn't worry about Serena. She's not here anyway."

"What?" Blair asked.

"At least not this weekend," Sloane said. "I heard she went home."

"From Nate?" Blair tested.

"No." Blair's face didn't change. "You don't look relieved."

"The only reason that he won't stray is because they're not in the same state," Blair said. "He already did it once."

Sloane paused, looking at Blair sadly.

"Are you sure you're alright with me going out?" Sloane asked. "I could stay…"

"I'm not helpless and fragile," Blair said. "It was just a question."

"If you're sure."

But the underlying tension was clear. Sloane couldn't stay when Blair was under this stress. She pushed people away. Especially after the betrayal of the two most important people in her life, she was lonelier than ever. She had never thought that was possible until now.

"Have fun," Blair said. "I'm going out tonight anyway."

"You are?" Sloane asked in surprise.

"Yes," Blair answered. "There's something I have to do.

Sloane looked at her expectantly, but Blair didn't elaborate on her vagueness. Sloane knew better than to press. She just gave Blair a reassuring smile before

closing the door behind her.

Blair had always reveled in the crowd. She could flawlessly converse with society elitists when she had never felt more alone.

But being actually alone when she was in the state was even worse.

Knocking on the door, she felt more alone than ever.

"Blair?"

Nate answered the door, not able to display anything but surprise.

Blair sighed. If there was anything she could count on Nate to be, it was predictable.

"Can I come in?"

It wasn't so much of a question as a statement as Blair pushed her way in.

"I want to talk."

Nate smiled with something close to bliss. He was relieved.

"Of course."

Blair analyzed his room skeptically. He hadn't bothered putting away his athletic gear. But she knew this was as good as it was going to get for her.

She was quiet for a few minutes

"Blair—"

"You didn't know."

"What?" Nate asked in confusion.

"Serena's not here," Blair said. "And you didn't know."

"I guess not," Nate said. "I haven't really been…"

Blair was quiet, but her expression was finally satisfied.

"What?" he asked quietly. But without an answer, Blair just pressed herself to him, kissing him fully.

He pulled back for just a moment before giving into her, stumbling with her to the bed, pulling at each other's clothes.

* * *

><p>Chuck had only left for a few moments. Another night in and he was sure that he was losing his touch. Tyler's presence was almost setting him on edge, but then again, deducing his own feelings was something that Chuck was never good at.<p>

"Are you sure you don't want one?"

Chuck walked back into the living area of his stepmother's empty penthouse, holding a scotch. But the moment he did, he saw the uncomfortable look on his best friend's face.

Tyler's non-answer was interrupted by the sound of the elevator bell. Chuck didn't have to turn around to know who it was. In retrospect, it made sense.

But he did turn around.

"Hello, sister."

Serena dropped her bags to the floor.


	10. Winter IX

**A/N**: I'm so happy that you guys are still into this story. Maybe it seems like I say that a lot, but I take so long updating and it's just nice that people are still interested.

**Summary**: "I'm sure it doesn't compare to a passionate night of being loved by Chuck Bass."

**Disclaimer**: Nothing belongs to me. Characters are all Gossip Girl and their respected affiliates. Thanks to suspensegirl for her beta-ing skills.

* * *

><p>Blair lay on her back, staring up at the ceiling. Nate's arm was slung around her waist as he slept deeply. She knew this wasn't so much a sign of affection as it was a subconscious act. She had been staring at the ceiling for hours into the night and she still hadn't solved any of her problems.<p>

What she really had hoped to accomplish was resolve her feelings in the whole situation. Now she felt more lost than ever. She had slept with someone who she wasn't even sure was her boyfriend or not, and it wasn't the first time this had happened in the past couple of months.

She felt more disgusted than ever. Being with Nate used to be so right. Now she would give anything just to feel… something. But watching Nate's lightly tousled hair in the middle of the night, all she felt was confusion.

One thing was for certain; she would rather die than do a walk of shame in the morning. Having a current one was the best option.

Gently, Blair eased herself out from under Nate's arm and slid to the floor. She pulled on her wrinkled dress and the remains of her dignity before one last look at him.

It just wasn't the same. She knew it was no one's sole fault. Things hadn't been the same since Nate's mistake, and she had reciprocated with one of her own. But there was no going back now. She made her bed and now—quite literally—she had to lie in it.

But that didn't mean she had to face those depressing facts currently. With one last look, she slid her shoes back on and closed the door behind her.

* * *

><p>They had been sitting in silence for a long time. Serena's drink lay untouched before her as they sat across from each other, a table separating them.<p>

"You've been staying here alone?" Serena finally asked.

"Eric's here."

"But Mom isn't."

"You know her," Chuck said. "It's not like she isn't coming back."

"You weren't here over the holidays," Serena noted.

"Were you looking?" Chuck asked cheekily.

"I don't know what I'm looking for anymore," Serena said cryptically.

"There's clearly a reason why you're here," Chuck said. "And why we've been quiet for three hours."

"I needed to get home," Serena said. "But I realized there really isn't a home to come to."

"I'm not the one to come to for that."

Serena smiled lightly. "We both know what this is about. You stayed with the Waldorfs' for the holidays."

"It's a lonely time for people," Chuck said quietly.

"And you spent it with my best friend."

"I spent it with my best friend," Chuck corrected her.

"Who conveniently cleared out the moment I got here."

Chuck couldn't stand the small talk when Serena was being purposely evasive. He had to ask the question.

"What are you doing here?" he finally asked.

"I know you heard me," Serena said. "That day I was there."

"So?"

"I don't have to pretend you don't know what I did."

"Why are you telling me?"

Serena looked at him directly. "Are you mistake-free?"

* * *

><p>Blair was relieved she had crossed campus without any notice. It was winter and she was in a fashionable dress with even more fashionable and impractical shoes. She was so relieved to get back to her room that she opened it without a second thought.<p>

She stood in the doorway, taking in the image of Sloane and her boyfriend intertwined beneath the covers.

"Blair." It was the only thing Sloane could say that wasn't already evident.

"No," Blair said. "It's my mistake. I should have realized that I would need to knock in my own room."

It didn't make a difference to her. Instead of backing respectfully out of the room she closed the door behind her and walked inside.

"Nice to see you too, Blair," Princeton said without missing a beat. But he extricated himself from the bed, luckily having enough clothes to be modest. "I'll be outside."

Sloane smiled uncomfortably.

"A heads up would have been nice," Blair said as Princeton left the room.

"Sorry," Sloane said. "I wasn't exactly expecting it."

"Well, I'm happy for you," Blair said. She knew that she didn't sound it, but that had nothing to do with Sloane and her newest development. "I know you've been feeling that he's been distant."

"It turns out his intentions were good," Sloane said. "And where have you been all night?"

It was the last thing Blair wanted to address, but that subject was unavoidable at this point.

"Losing every ounce of self respect I was sure was already gone," Blair said begrudgingly

"So make-up sex with Nate," Sloane clarified.

"If you can call it that."

"What would you call it?" Sloane asked. "I'm sure it doesn't compare to a passionate night of being loved by Chuck Bass."

"Love had nothing to do with it," Blair snapped.

"You know what I mean."

"And maybe you didn't know what I meant when I said I didn't want to talk about it."

"Wow," Sloane said, ignoring her friend's antagonism. "It must have been really good if you can't forget about it after being with your own boyfriend."

Blair just threw her an annoyed look. Anyone else would have been wise enough to drop the subject. But she and Sloane had always been too alike to back down from each other.

"If it helps, Serena isn't around to ruin it," Sloane suggested.

Blair sighed. "That's what worries me."

* * *

><p>"What are you doing?"<p>

Chuck and Serena had been sitting at the breakfast table for several minutes without a word between them.

"You really get to the point," Serena replied.

"We were rarely in the same room even when my father was alive," Chuck said. "I haven't seen this much of you in the past year."

Serena picked at her plate delicately. It must have occurred to her. The situation that they were in was strange to say the least and Chuck knew there was a certain reason why she was here.

"To be honest," Serena said, "I wanted to give Blair and Nate room to get back together."

Chuck couldn't help but narrow his eyes suspiciously. He didn't doubt that Serena's intentions were good. Then again, that was what the road to hell was paved with.

And it all seemed so strange. They weren't the closest of siblings and suddenly they had more in common than anyone.

Every syllable was loaded.

"So they've reconciled," Chuck said slowly.

"No thanks to me."

"Blair and your relationship won't be as easy to repair," Chuck concluded.

"I know," Serena sighed. "One of the many reasons I came back."

"And you think I can help you?" Chuck asked.

That's really what it came down to. Serena may have been reformed, but she wasn't stupid. And neither was he. Chuck knew that Serena's plan wasn't only to avoid Blair.

It was to enlist him.

Serena really cared about her best friend's happiness. It wasn't something that was unfamiliar to Chuck. Strangely, he knew what it was like to be selfless.

That didn't mean that he had been employing it lately.

For some reason, Serena thought she would actually get somewhere with Chuck.

"I think it was the best option," Serena said. "And I think that Tyler can."

"You think Tyler can help you?" Chuck reevaluated. "He's a Waldorf. He doesn't want anything to do with you."

"Waldorfs have loyalty in spades," Serena said. "This isn't a scheme. This isn't some complicated thing. I know Tyler loves Blair. And though everyone on the Upper East Side knows your feelings towards Blair, I'm hoping you have nothing better to do."

"Feelings." That was the only word he held on to.

"You hate her," Serena clarified. She eyed him suspiciously.

"Right."

He was losing it.

"You said it wasn't a scheme," Chuck said.

"I think they can work things out," Serena said. "Now if you don't mind, I've had a very exhausting semester."

Chuck watched her trail up the stairs to her old room.

"Fucking your best friend's boyfriend will do that to you."

Serena didn't bother answering.

* * *

><p>"Hey."<p>

Once again Blair had to curse herself again for her lapse in judgment. She didn't know what she expected to happen when finally giving in to her adolescent ex, but she was sure shame and awkwardness wasn't what she had in mind.

Nate was easy. It was easy to go along and just float with him. She definitely hadn't imagined doing a walk of shame and avoiding him in the quad. But after all her mistakes, this wasn't what she wanted.

She turned towards him with a forced smile.

"Nate."

She was sure that he couldn't see the difference.

"I've been trying to get a hold of you all day," he said warmly, taking her elbow. Blair expertly slid away without causing alarm.

"I had class."

"Oh." She could tell that disturbed him. "That early in the morning?"

Blair sighed. She couldn't be delicate anymore. She didn't know if she ever could.

"I was worried."

"Listen, Nate—"

"I just don't understand," Nate said. "I thought I was doing everything right."

"It's not your fault," Blair said. "I just—"

"Serena."

That's what it always came down to.

"You don't have to," Blair said. "I just had a class."

"I want to explain—"

"Don't," Blair said. "Just don't."

"How can we move on if we don't talk about this?"

"You don't have to move on from anything," Blair said. "I do. If you say you're telling the truth, then I believe you. I'm sure you have no feelings for her anymore."

"I don't have feelings for her," Nate acknowledged. "I just feel like we haven't had closure."

"Get all the closure you want," Blair said. "It seems that you're suddenly so interested in it. But don't bother."

"Blair."

"I don't want to know," Blair said. "I really don't."

Watching her walk away, Nate knew that was what really worried him.

* * *

><p>Sitting at the kitchen table, Tyler couldn't help but feel a wave of disgust. Eleanor had embraced Serena the moment she entered the penthouse and he felt immediate loyalty towards his sister flare up in his chest.<p>

Whatever Blair had been going through, he understood that it could never really matter. Not between siblings. Especially when the leggy Marilyn that had destroyed his sister's life was sitting in his house like she lived there.

Serena was not his sister. She was not his mother's daughter. Before it seemed appalling to him that Blair and Eleanor could never just overlook everything, but the truth of it was, he knew what it was like. He knew what it was like to have such a tense relationship with a parent. And he knew Eleanor was treating Serena the way she never treated her own daughter.

Eleanor had always been cold towards Blair because she was the firstborn and she didn't want her daughter to be a failure. But it wouldn't kill her to actually show some affection. Especially since Serena was gaining all the affection that was due to Blair.

Except from him. Tyler would never allow that. He and Blair were connected and he would never allow anything to come between them.

He shoved himself away from the table.

"Tyler." It was the first time Eleanor sounded the least bit disapproving of him. For some reason, he found it invigorating. "Serena's here."

"I noticed," Tyler said before heading down the hallway.

He had pressed the number one on speed dial before he turned the corner.

"_Hello_?"

Blair's voice sounded surprised.

"Hey." He hadn't realized how much he had missed her.

"_Tyler_," Blair said slowly. _"I didn't expect you to call."_

"I just wanted to hear your voice," Tyler said. "You have no idea what it's like over here."

"_I know_," Blair said warmly. They always knew. "_I missed you too."_

"I'm just glad you picked up this time."

"_What do you mean?"_

"When you talked to Chuck," Tyler explained. "You just hung up."

There was silence on the other end.

"Blair."

"_Sorry_."

But he knew that wasn't all there was to it.

"We're blood," Tyler said. She didn't need to say it for him to know something was wrong. "Tell me what happened."

"_Nate slept with Serena."_

She finally said it. But they both knew it was too late.

"I figured," Tyler sighed. The truth was out. "She's here."

Blair paused. "_Where_?"

Tyler couldn't help but smile. There was that prickly sister he loved.

"At home," Tyler said simply.

But before he could continue he heard a creak of the door and Serena stood before him.

"Can we talk?"

That was Serena in an essence, he supposed. She was always interrupting, always where she wasn't supposed to be, always taking away from others without a thought.

Tyler realized his sister hadn't said anything in a long time. "Blair?"

There was that flare again. Serena was in his house and scaring away his sister. His protective tendencies were paramount. Blair wasn't the only bitch.

But something stopped him. He knew that Blair was only half there anyway and he couldn't talk to her about it with the statuesque blonde standing right there.

"I'll call you back."

He hated himself for hanging up. But Serena sat on the couch across from him and he could only deal with one crisis at a time. He longed desperately to talk to his sister for the first time in months, but he didn't know where anyone stood anymore.

"What do you want?" Tyler asked bluntly.

"Obviously you aren't my biggest fan right now," Serena said.

"Perceptive," Tyler sniped. But Serena was smiling.

"You're so much like her."

"Can we not turn this into a talk about sibling similarities?"

"She won't talk to me."

"I can't imagine why."

"I slept with Nate."

"I know," Tyler said darkly. "That was the point of the sarcasm."

"Of course you do," Serena allowed. "You and Blair have a bond that I don't think I even have with my brother."

"Not even Chuck?" Tyler taunted.

"Not even Eric."

"That was mocking."

"I know," Serena said. For the first time, she sounded defensive. "Blair's my best friend."

"Was," Tyler took relish in saying.

"I just wanted to know," Serena said. "Is there anything I can do to fix it?"

"Not fuck her boyfriend?" Tyler asked pointedly.

"I see whose side you're on," Serena smiled in acknowledgment.

"Do you expect any less?" Tyler asked. "Blair is my blood. She takes priority. Always has, always will."

"What if it was your best friend?"

"Meaning?"

"If you had to choose," Serena said, "you would choose Blair every time."

"I don't know what you mean."

"I hope so," Serena said. "Because if you do, you know you're just lying to yourself."

"What are you talking about?" Tyler asked. It was random and confusing and sudden. But really, he was disconcerted by the fact that some of it made a little bit of sense.

There was something on Serena's face that was conflicted. Tyler knew she was always about doing the right thing. She never wanted to hurt anyone. But she was Serena. She always felt with her heart and less with her head. She couldn't see when she was hurting people sometimes—even her best friend.

"Nothing," Serena finally said.

"Then what?" Tyler asked. "Trying to lecture me on morals?"

"I just want her to forgive me."

Tyler didn't quite believe Serena. He knew that was her one true desire. But there was also something else tugging at her conscience. He just didn't know what it was.

"Then why are you talking to me?" he asked.

"Because part of me thinks that what I did was too horrible to forgive."

"Maybe it is."

"Would you?" she asked. "Forgive?"

"I don't have a boyfriend," Tyler said smartly.

"Fine," Serena acquiesced. "What if your best friend slept with someone they had no right?"

There was something. Tyler could either accept it or just take it as it sounded—a hypothetical situation. But he just wasn't sure anymore.

He couldn't think about it.

"Or maybe you think he's just not capable," Serena said. "After all, that's what Blair thought of me."

"He's capable," Tyler knew. They both knew whom they were talking about. "I just hope he would never do that to me."

"If he did, I'm sure there's a reason," Serena said.

He could ignore it. He could just pretend.

"You're talking like this isn't a hypothetical situation anymore," Tyler said slowly.

"If he ever did," Serena amended.

"Then tell me," Tyler said coolly. "Why did you do it?"

* * *

><p>Blair never liked it in Nate's room. Maybe that had something to do with it. Sitting there and being summoned by the boy who cheated on her wasn't exactly the way she wanted to spend her time at all.<p>

And she knew.

She knew that he wanted to talk and she knew it could only be about one thing.

Serena.

"Five minutes," Nate promised as he took a seat across from her.

"When is your roommate getting back?" Blair asked distractedly.

"Blair," Nate said, attempting to refocus her attention. "Just let me explain."

"Explain away," Blair replied.

"It was a one-time thing," Nate promised. "I was in really bad shape. I couldn't talk to anyone else. She was just there. She listened and she didn't judge and I just needed to talk to someone. It was a really hard day for me."

Nate paused to gauge Blair's reaction. She just looked at him blankly.

He took a deep breath and dove in.

"My dad is being put away for embezzlement and fraud."

He stopped and looked into Blair's eyes.

"Nate," Blair finally said. "I really don't care."


	11. Winter X

A/N: Another update! I hope you are all pleased.

Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me. Characters in any incarnation are form the GGverse. Thanks to suspensegirl for the beta.

* * *

><p>Tyler had lost count how many drinks he had consumed. But no matter how much there were, they were more than Chuck had. For the past half an hour, Tyler has been staring at his best friend staring at the wall of the bar they had gone to that night.<p>

Tyler never drank more than Chuck did. But whatever suspicions Tyler had formed in the past months, he couldn't help but brush it aside for what his friend was clearly going through at the moment.

He still couldn't help but be slightly irritated when Chuck started to brood.

"Is she still here?"

Chuck still hadn't touched the drink that was in front of him.

"I can't say I'm aware of any other motivation for her being here after confessing her sins to me," Chuck said, "though I'm still not sure why she did that."

"Does it matter?" Tyler asked, for the first time, hearing the insensitivity in his own voice.

"She's my sister." Chuck looked just as surprised as Tyler at the loyalty in his own voice.

"And she betrayed mine," Tyler said slowly. He didn't like these lines that were being drawn. But he was fairly certain that he would never have to count Chuck as an enemy.

"I'm not picking sides," Chuck replied definitively.

"Worse," Tyler argued. "You're not telling me which one you're on. Besides, it doesn't matter. It won't matter to Blair. She won't care."

"Why not?"

"Because it's Nate," Tyler said.

"So they're getting back together?"

And then all the suspicion came flooding back to him. Chuck from time to time would say strange things like that—things he didn't use to care about at all.

"We haven't talked about it," Tyler said coolly.

"He betrayed her," Chuck said. "Even though he had an excuse."

"You call that an excuse?" Tyler asked. "It's adultery."

"But it is the one secret that every gossip magazine—and networking site for that matter—would die to get their hands on," Chuck said. "The Captain Archibald, embezzler."

"And Serena entrusted you with this information, why?" Tyler asked. "You told me."

"But who are you going to tell?" Chuck asked, smirking for the first time that night.

"If a gun was being held to Nate's head it wouldn't matter," Tyler finished. "Blair is Blair. She needs to be in control."

Chuck knew that was something they all could count on.

* * *

><p>Nate never felt comfortable in Blair's room. Especially after everything, he couldn't be expected to. But as Sloane did her makeup in the mirror and he sat on his girlfriend's bed, he knew that the blonde wasn't doing him any favors. He was just another piece of furniture to her.<p>

He didn't blame her.

Sloane had eyes just like Blair's.

When he walked in to find her that day he knew that without a doubt Blair had told her roommate everything that he said—even if it was only one sentence.

Now he just waited.

He didn't know when Blair was coming back. As a matter of fact, he was surprised that Sloane even let him in the room. But she was going out, and it was a form of torture by just making him wait when Blair might not even be returning that night.

He didn't want to think about where she was at that moment. He knew it was Blair and she didn't betray those that she cared about.

But he didn't know if she cared about him anymore. And he knew that when it came to retribution, Blair had always been an advocate of an eye for an eye.

It seemed like eons before there was a knock at the door. Nate straightened as Sloane went to answer it, ignoring him as usual. It didn't occur to him as she opened the door that Blair wouldn't knock on the door of her own room.

Instead Sloane's boyfriend walked through the door. Princeton gave one look at Nate and gazed questioningly at Sloane.

"He's waiting for Blair," she explained curtly. Nate expected that to be that, but Princeton laughed as though he knew him.

Nate had been certain that he'd seen him around the fraternities.

"He'll be waiting awhile," Princeton said easily.

"What?"

These were people that Nate knew were not on his side. But still, he didn't think that Sloane would just let him waste away in a room when she knew that her roommate wasn't going to show.

"You know that the Harvard game is today," he replied.

Though he wasn't known to understand subtext, Nate understood what that meant.

"She stood you up," Princeton finished.

Everyone knew that Blair Waldorf didn't miss Yale traditions.

* * *

><p>When Chuck stumbled back into what he thought was an empty penthouse, he stopped short at the kitchen. He stared down at the bags in the foyer.<p>

Serena's exasperated sigh made him look up.

"Troubles?" he smirked. He sat himself at the island in the kitchen.

"Me?" But she almost sounded relieved. He knew what it was like to be lonely. And he supposed all she really wanted was finally for someone to stop her from running away. "And what gutter did you crawl out of?"

"The one on the Lower West Side," Chuck sneered.

"Classy."

They were silent for a moment. He knew what this was. He knew that they were both replacing each other for someone who would have nothing to do with them.

And both their someones happened to be the same person.

"Like you," Chuck retorted. "Leaving already?"

"I came. I saw."

"What was the real reason you came?" Chuck asked. "To beg for an audience with Tyler?"

"No," Serena said. "That wasn't the reason that I came."

Chuck waited. "And?"

"I was just…" Serena said, "curious."

"You know your brother missed you," Chuck said. "And I'm not talking about me."

"I didn't assume that you were," Serena said. "But somehow you seem to be the voice of family morality."

"Maybe I'm maturing."

"I wouldn't count on it."

"You're not the only one."

Serena's eyes narrowed. She had that effect on people. It wasn't something that was overly evident, but sometimes, Chuck could feel it. Serena knew more than she let on. She gave the air of ignorance but he knew she was more of an observer than anyone.

"I'll see you around, Chuck."

As Chuck watched her valet trail behind her to the elevator, he was fairly certain that he would.

"You missed your sister."

Eric had just come in striding from his room.

"No I didn't."

"Something tells me that wasn't her main reason for being here."

"Seeing me?" Eric asked. "And what turned you into such a sleuth?"

Serena wasn't the only observer.

"I don't have a problem," Chuck said. It was best to address all things he was sure that was on everyone's minds.

But he should have known. He knew that it sounded just like the opposite.

"Who said there's a problem?" Eric asked.

"It's what they don't say."

* * *

><p>Sloane had been apprehensive about leaving Nate alone in the room. But it was true that there wasn't anything he could do to it. And he was refusing to leave until his flighty girlfriend returned—if she was still referring to herself as such.<p>

He saw her dead looks and her distant demeanor. He hadn't had any illusions about their relationship. He knew that it would be hard to convince her of his loyalty.

He just thought that she would at least want to be convinced.

He stared at the ceiling, feeling her body heat next to him. But somehow, she was still cold. She was Blair. He had been with her since puberty. But she was so far away. And he knew that it was the time that they finally put all the cards on the table.

"Look, Blair," Nate started. He felt her react subtly next to him, but made no further comment. "You either forgive me and move on...or we end it."

It came out easier than he had originally thought it would. It slid out with such ease; he knew it was on both of their tongues for a long time.

"I've moved on."

It was the first thing she said, and his heart dropped into his stomach.

"Do you forgive me?" Nate pressed.

"For what?"

He hated that. "I'm not playing that game, Blair."

Blair finally sat up suddenly. Nate looked up at her. They were in such an intimate position. But somehow, lying in bed together was something so innocent he couldn't comprehend it. It was like they were twelve again and didn't know what hurt or true emotion was.

"You think I care that you slept with my best friend," Blair stated coldly. He almost wished that he hadn't said anything. "I wish I could say that I was surprised."

That did surprise him. He eased up next to her, studying her with clear eyes.

"I'm not," Blair continued honestly. "I told you the truth. It doesn't matter to me. It would seem that you're the one who wants out of it."

"I don't," Nate protested, struggling for words. "I was confused. We've been through so much."

"So forget about it," Blair said apathetically. "I know I have."

"Then why did you stand me up?" Nate asked. "If I need to do some sort of penance-"

"This isn't penance," Blair stated. "I wasn't trying to punish you. If I was, you would know."

Blair slid off the bed, the conversation obviously done when it came to her.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"It's the game," Blair said. "You had to have known I would have gone."

"You don't even like sports."

"It's tradition."

That was it. In one simple sentence, Nate understood everything that had happened. He knew why Blair was going through the motions, and why she was even still in the same room with him.

Tradition.

* * *

><p>For the first time, he wasn't thinking about her. She shone as bright as the sun but at that moment, Nate wasn't thinking about Serena van der Woodsen. At that moment, Nate was consumed with the darkness that was just occurring to him. It was the darkness that blossomed at the look of Blair Waldorf's eyes and the betrayal.<p>

And that was when he knocked directly into the thing that he wasn't thinking about.

"Nate." Serena's smile was still radiant, but he knew exactly what she was feeling. He was feeling it too and neither of them wanted to be there.

He was just more convinced of it.

"Hey." It was difficult to make eye contact with her.

He was sure that she could tell as she sighed in defeat.

"I should—"

"Nate," Serena said, putting a hand on his arm and stopping him from making his escape, "wait."

"I can't," Nate said. "We… can't."

Serena studied him for a moment. "It sounds like you've talked to Blair."

"Have you?"

"No," Serena admitted. "She won't talk to me."

"I'm not sure if that's any better than what she's doing to me."

"She still hasn't forgiven you."

"Listen, Serena," Nate said. "Now really isn't—"

"So you're not going to talk to me anymore?" Serena asked. He hated her. He hated how her downcast eyes were filled with such sadness and how easily it could strike him to his core.

"Things are just—"

"Fine," Serena cut him off again. "Have a nice day."

And he hated that. How she was so cold in her pleasantries. He knew how much was his fault and it hurt.

"Where have you been?"

But he still couldn't help himself. She was sad and he was sad and he knew that this was exactly what led them astray to begin with.

He just couldn't help himself.

Serena turned back to him, but her eyes weren't kind.

"I just haven't seen you in awhile," Nate concluded.

"I was home," Serena said. There wasn't any hint of bitterness to her voice. He missed that. Serena didn't hold a grudge against anybody. Sometimes, it was just relaxing to be with her. "I wanted to see my brothers."

"How is Eric?" Nate asked politely. He still remembered his courtesies.

Serena was quiet for a moment. "And Chuck."

She could see right through him. It didn't take much. It wasn't a secret the bad blood that was between Nate Archibald and Chuck Bass. He would rather just not dwell on it. But he was Serena's family. He knew that she never ignored that.

"You never really warmed up to him," Serena remarked.

"He's an arrogant, narcissistic, womanizing bastard."

"Big words," Serena said. "You sound like Blair."

"The one thing we agree on."

"She used to tolerate him."

"Until he befriended her brother."

"You did too," Serena said. "I know you like to rewrite history, but you used to be friends. Best friends."

"That doesn't change anything."

Serena knew when to let up. She was right. It was all history. And she couldn't write the present. Nate didn't like Chuck. Not anymore. It was best to move on.

"I saw Tyler too."

"And?" Nate asked.

"And he loves his sister. How do you think he greeted me?"

"I think a lot of people can't help but swear fealty to Blair—"

It wasn't Serena that cut Nate off this time. She followed his eyes and once again, marveled at her talent at messing everything up.

Blair stood there. There was no anger in her eyes. There wasn't even disappointment. In the middle of campus, all Blair looked was apathetic.

Nate didn't even leave a parting word as he chased after her.

She was walking away and he felt like that was all she was doing lately.

"Blair—"

No one let him speak anymore.

"If I were you," Blair said coolly without even looking back at him, "I would just be accepting my forgiveness with grace instead of chatting up your concubine."

That stopped Nate in his tracks.

She felt his eyes on her and she knew that her golden best friend was also looking at the display. Eleanor was right.

Blair did have a tendency to lean towards the dramatic. But that was just enough. She had a destructive personality and this was just enough.

Her phone was in her hand and her anger was in her chest. It was whirling around in her brain and she wanted to scream.

Somehow, his number was in the outgoing call.

"Hey. It's me." She paused. It was all she could say.

"_Waldorf_."


	12. Winter XI: Adam's Song

_**Nothing belongs to me. All is Gossip Girl. Thanks to suspensegirl for the enthusiastic beta.**_

* * *

><p>Blair wasn't really sure what she was doing on her floor, her back to the door. She seemed to always find herself alone in a room, his voice on the other end.<p>

"_Why didn't you call Tyler?"_

She couldn't recall how long they had been talking. That scared her. His hushed voice scared her. Her complete familiarity scared her.

He was the only one that could do that to her, she was beginning to realize.

"Don't ask me that," Blair whispered into the phone. "Don't make me feel worse."

He was quiet for a moment.

Even that scared her.

"_You feel guilty,"_ he said after the long pause. "_About me."_

"I feel guilty about lying to him," Blair answered without hesitation. It was the truth. This was something she could honestly say that she had never come to contact with. She had never been afraid of being with someone for fear of cheating on her _brother_. She had never let any man scare her.

But her heart was racing in anticipation for any words that he would say next.

She was scared of herself.

"_Do you regret it?" _

And she couldn't have that anymore.

"Goodbye, Chuck."

He always found himself clutching his phone, listening to her dialtone. But this time was different. He listened to her soft voice utter his name so sincerely and he felt as though he couldn't breathe.

He couldn't imagine what he had been thinking when he said all those words to her, but it didn't matter now. She was off with her boyfriend and his heart was constricting in a way that reminded him that he actually had one.

He got to his feet, dizzy. He had never felt anything like it in the world. Like he had taken the entire contents of the pills in his stepmother's bathroom.

He didn't like this feeling.

The mirror felt cool and soothing against his forehead. This was pain like nothing he knew. Not during his father's funeral and not including any sort of abandonment issues he might have. This was different. Whatever this was, it was like spikes in his heart and he didn't know what to do with it.

Leaning his head against the mirror was helping.

But as he opened his eyes, the heart that he was just discovering he had dropped into his stomach.

Eric didn't look surprised. He didn't look anything. He just looked. And Chuck knew whatever he was denying to be true wasn't helping anymore.

* * *

><p>Blair knew that way Sloane looked at her. There was that way that when Blair would hang up the phone and her roommate knew that she wasn't talking to her boyfriend. But at that very moment, none of that mattered. Blair wasn't sure if she was being judged, but she could honestly say that she did not approve of what her own roommate's boyfriend was doing at that very moment.<p>

Princeton pocketed his money before giving Sloane a kiss on a cheek. He gave a friendly smile to Blair, which she returned in the most forced way. She waited for the door to close behind him.

She didn't have to say anything. All Blair had to do was look at the blonde and she immediately burst out in defense.

"I know that look."

"Do you?"

"You have no right to judge him."

"Don't I?" Blair asked. "When have you ever recalled me dealing drugs?"

Sloane was silent.

"He was dealing Adderall in our room," Blair said firmly. "We could get kicked out for that."

"He needs the money," Sloane protested. "His parents still hold him not going to Dartmouth against him"

"Is that an excuse?"

"You're always so enamored with the rules," Sloane said. "As if it's some sacred institution—"

"It's Yale," Blair exclaimed. "What do you think of it?"

"You're so concerned with your family's legacy that you can't even be concerned with what really matters to you. Do you even know what that is?" Sloane asked. "Have you heard from Nate?"

"Drug dealers and adulterous boyfriends are the last things I should be thinking about right now," Blair said. But even as the syllable fell from Sloane's mouth, Blair had to wonder. Everyone else thought Nate was what she really cared about. But she couldn't help but question everything now. She couldn't help but wonder if everything her parents told her that she wanted was really what was in her heart.

"Because your paramour called?" Sloane asked smartly.

"Stop," Blair snapped.

"Maybe drug dealers and adulterous boyfriends are a happy distraction," Sloane continued coolly.

"Maybe," Blair muttered, "you know more than you ought to."

* * *

><p>"Coming?"<p>

Eric looked at Chuck expectantly as he opened the door of the limo. St. Jude's sprawled out before them as Eric exited the car. Chuck begrudgingly followed his brother out. After the break, it wasn't exactly the academics that incurred Chuck's tentativeness.

He hadn't spoken to his best friend since Blair had hung up on him, but he was sure he would run into him at school. Chuck's academics weren't a priority to him to begin with. Attending the first day of school wasn't something that concerned him.

But it was easier than dwelling on Blair's intentions.

And even though he could be potentially distracted from her for eight hours, there was one thing that he didn't want to be reminded of. Right across the courtyard Tyler spotted them, nodding towards them.

Chuck found his insides suddenly tightening up. He didn't know where all this pent up anxiety was coming from, but he knew that he didn't like it. He didn't know why everyone was clamoring for gentle hearts, but he was sure it wasn't all it was advertised as. He didn't like letting anyone in and he sure as hell didn't like caring that Blair Waldorf had a tendency to hang up on him.

He didn't like being afraid to face his best friend—especially since he was sure there was no merit for it.

So he smiled like he meant it, because he couldn't remember how to act any other way. Sure enough, at that exact moment, a distraction presented itself. Right before them on the steps leading to the school were the peroxide blonde and her merry band of minions. Chuck remembered the year before and the queen of Constance Billard certainly didn't look like that.

"Monarchy just isn't what it used to be," Chuck sighed casually.

Eric merely nodded. Jenny Humphrey hadn't been the same since she had earned her place at the top of the totem pole and Eric didn't have his best friend since then. Chuck knew better than to push the subject.

"Yeah," Eric finally said. "At least Blair had the gift of false vulnerability."

Chuck smiled tightly at this. Eric turned at his brother's silence. Tyler was still yards away, delicately trying to avoid the new queen as well.

"She rips guys' hearts out."

Chuck glanced at Eric.

"Who? Little J?"

Eric sighed. "You know who."

"And what do you want me to do about it?"

"You were arrogant to think you were immune," Eric replied.

"Why shouldn't I be?" Chuck asked coolly.

"Because you're Chuck Bass," Eric smiled slightly. "Two people so narcissistic never stood a chance against each other. But don't think that she's letting you take advantage. Don't think she still won't preserve herself until the very end."

"You've been talking to Serena," Chuck noted. "I, on the other hand, can't take sides."

"What are you talking about?" Eric asked. "You already have. But I don't think the issue is choosing between Serena and Blair."

Eric looked at Tyler who was finally making his way towards them.

"Then what is the issue?" Chuck asked.

"Nothing," Eric said quietly as Tyler advanced. "Just be careful."

"It's under control," Chuck said definitively.

"When it comes to this sort of thing, you don't exactly think with the right brain," Eric replied.

"I don't even want to know what you're talking about," Tyler said as he arrived.

Chuck couldn't help but think that he really didn't.

* * *

><p>Her heart lurched.<p>

His name flashed across her phone as it vibrated and she hated it. She hated how she felt when she saw his name and thought of him. This wasn't how things were supposed to be and she couldn't let it progress any further. This wasn't right. This wasn't her life. She was supposed to get married and have two children while on the Junior League.

She wasn't supposed to have some passionate paramour.

And it was only once. She was only with him one time.

This shouldn't be happening.

Without a second thought, she answered the call with only one objective in mind.

She had to end this.

"Listen, Chuck—"

But it was the only phrase she could get out.

_ "Tone down the social niceties, you're embarrassing yourself."_

Blair froze. She knew that voice. She recognized that voice. That wasn't the tone she heard when she was alone but the smarmy voice of a lecher that she used to know.

Her blood ran cold.

"Chuck," she said quietly.

_ "Good to hear your voice too, princess."_

She felt the familiar instinct in her that told her to lock up. This was war.

And she couldn't believe that she had let her guard down.

_ "I thought I would do you a favor and tell you ahead of time."_

"What?" Blair asked sharply.

_ "I've grown bored of this little game we have."_

Now she was sure. That voice. She knew this person. She couldn't believe how stupid she had become. She couldn't believe what she had let herself feel. And now she couldn't even believe he was doing this to her.

"Is that so," she said darkly.

"_Don't sound so downtrodden,"_ Chuck replied. "_I'm sure things will get so much more interesting for you after I tell everyone what happened on New Years."_

She refused to believe those were tears pricking her vision.

She refused to believe any of this.

"What are you talking about?" Blair demanded. This was completely sudden and unprovoked.

Her question was answered with silence.

"Tyler will hate you."

"_I guess I'm going to take that chance," _Chuck replied. "_Goodnight, lover."_

The dialtone was loud in her ear.


	13. Winter XII: Brainy

_**Thanks to suspensegirl for the beta. Nothing belongs to me. All is the realm of Gossip Girl.**_

* * *

><p>The last thing Sloane expected to see when she walked into the room was Blair Waldorf throwing her belongings into a suitcase. There were no valets to take care of that, and even more than that, she never expected to see Blair Waldorf willingly leaving Yale.<p>

"What are you doing?"

Blair looked up at her, shocked, clearly not aware of her presence. But after the moment elapsed she continued her tear through the room.

"Packing," she said succinctly.

"I see that," Sloane returned. She couldn't believe that Blair wasn't even folding her clothes.

This was serious.

"Why?"

"I'm going back to New York."

"What?" Sloane sputtered. "What are you talking about?"

"Leaving," Blair told her in short syllables. "For. New York."

"Why?" Sloane asked in exasperation.

Blair looked up at her pointedly.

And suddenly it was all so clear. Sloane sat back at her desk, watching lazily as her friend frantically tried to pack. There was only one creature that could ever whip Blair into such a frenzy. Sloane had never met him, but she felt as though she had through this drama alone.

Somehow, Chuck Bass had changed the game.

"Because," Blair snapped, "the blackmailing bastard who I took advantage of during a moment of vulnerability is going to tell the entire Upper East Side about my indiscretion."

"He's blackmailing you?" Sloane asked in surprise. "That's adorable."

"Adorable," Blair repeated. "No. Not so much."

"And technically, isn't it both of your indiscretion?" Sloane asked coolly.

Blair just shot Sloane a glare as she attempted to zip her suitcase closed.

"Can't you just…"

"What?" Blair asked.

"I'm just surprised that Blair Waldorf is letting Chuck Bass hold one over on her."

"If he wasn't so annoyingly immune to blackmail, then no," Blair said. "I wouldn't have to be making a completely pointless trip."

"So the thought has crossed your mind that he's just playing with you," Sloane noted.

"Despite all of his lecherous endeavors," Blair said, "there is not one thing that Chuck would be ashamed of. Blackmail not being an option, I don't really have a choice, whether this is just a game to him or not."

"Oh, I'm sure it's a game," Sloane says. "But you have no way of knowing if he's bluffing or not."

"Either he outs me or he doesn't," Blair said.

"So I'm to infer you haven't told your brother."

Blair glowered at her again. "He knows I'm coming for the weekend."

"So if you go or not, it doesn't matter," Sloane said. "He'll do what he's going to do."

"Part of the gamble is if I do nothing, he'll release it anyway," Blair said. "You see the dilemma when dealing with a Bass."

"I'll leave it up to the experts," Sloane said. "I'll make sure Nate is occupied."

"I'll see you on Monday," Blair said curtly, shouldering her bag and slamming the door behind her as she left.

* * *

><p>The music was deafening but it was strangely the only place that Tyler could be alone with his thoughts. The repetitive bass gave him a calm that was an alternative to the awkward silences that stretched between him and his best friend.<p>

"What?"

Eric was looking at him expectantly and Tyler hadn't realized he had been asked a question.

"I said," Eric said over the music of the club, "what do you think Chuck's doing?"

It was a good question. Tyler had no idea what Chuck was doing or even what he thought he was doing. But looking over at Chuck draining his drink in the corner, he was sure that wasn't what Eric was asking.

There was still only one answer he could give. "I don't know."

Even through the distraction of their surroundings, Eric was perceptive. Then again, you would have to be completely oblivious not to notice the tension between Tyler Waldorf and Chuck Bass. Maybe that's what Chuck was doing in the corner. Being oblivious.

Ignorance was welcome as opposed to what was really going on.

And Tyler didn't want to know what was going on. He didn't want to think about it or dwell over it. If he did, then maybe he would come to understand something that he didn't want to know.

He was only put slightly at ease as an Amazonian blonde went over to Chuck's table. Tyler didn't want to go around analyzing why he felt more comfortable when Chuck was _conversing_ with a sensual stranger.

But he didn't like the way Eric was looking at him pointedly.

"I'm surprised you didn't tell Chuck that Blair was coming back."

Blair had just called Tyler from the train from New Haven. Of course he was ecstatic that his sister was coming for a spontaneous visit.

But that was the disconcerting thing. Blair didn't do spontaneous. She was reserved and scheduled. There was something suspicious about it all. And he knew it was even more suspicious that he hadn't told his best friend this piece of mundane news—especially the best friend that he shared everything with.

"Why?" Tyler asked.

"I don't know," Eric answered. "My sister is acting suspicious."

"Suspicious or suspiciously?" Tyler knew the difference. Or at least, he used to be able to. "What does that have to do with Chuck?" Tyler asked.

Both of them watched as Chuck leaned into the blonde's ear, stroking her knee while she laughed.

"You tell me," Eric answered.

* * *

><p>It was almost a welcome distraction. After all, Blair had returned for one reason only. Eleanor's glares over the dinner table weren't what Blair had come for. For a split second, Blair was relieved that for once her mother's death gaze wasn't directed at her.<p>

Then again, Chuck Bass crashing a family dinner was the last thing that she needed at the moment. Especially if him destroying her with one sentence was something he was threatening to do.

_ Blair and I had sex on New Years Eve._

All she could do was sit there and just wait for it to happen.

"Chuck."

Tyler's voice was neutral, if such a thing existed. But Blair could hear the underlying threat. Whatever this was, she knew it was about to get a lot worse.

Dorota paused, dinner platter in hand as Chuck stumbled in from the foyer. Everyone seemed frozen in one moment of discomfort.

"This is a surprise," Tyler said pointedly.

"Not as surprising as this." It was clear he had just come from a bar. "I didn't realize a celebration was in order."

"Celebration," Blair stated. It was the first thing she had said to him and she knew that Chuck noticed. His eyes immediately snapped to hers and she felt stiff. She couldn't move, paralyzed with the fear of what he might say next.

"Of course," Chuck said smoothly. "You're home. I had no idea."

"Now you do," Tyler said swiftly, getting to his feet to escort Chuck out. "Let's talk about this later."

"Yes, let's," Eleanor said coldly. "This is a family dinner."

"My mistake," Chuck said over his shoulder as he was taken out the way he came in. But even as they rounded the corner, she could still hear them.

Blair just stared at her plate as their muffled conversation wafted through the wall.

_ "What do you think you're doing?"_

"_What_?_ Just greeting your family."_

_ "Are you drunk?"_

_ "Now what would move you to make an accusation such as that?"_

"_How did you know Blair was coming home?"_

_ "I didn't."_

Silently, Blair stood up from her seat and stepped quietly through the house towards the voices. She peered around the corner to see them in what seemed very passive-aggressive stances.

"We'll talk about this later," Tyler said quietly. "Right now I need to be with my sister."

"Something amiss?"

"Ever since Blair showed up, my mother has been in a…" Tyler began, "mood. You really can't be here right now."

"As you wish," Chuck said coolly.

As the elevator doors slid open he caught sight of Blair. He threw her lascivious wink before the doors closed behind him.

Tyler looked over his shoulder to see Blair standing in the same spot. Her eyes never left the elevator.

"Blair."

Blair turned around without answering. Tyler followed her anyway. She didn't need to enter the dining room to know that her mother had already instructed Dorota to clear their places. The humiliation of a Bass interrupting their dinner was enough to end that experiment.

Blair heard her bedroom door close behind her. Her bags weren't even unpacked, and she had no plans to do so. This was supposed to be a quick visit. But with the knowledge that Tyler was right behind her, and clearly suspicious of everything that he had a right to be, she was starting to think nothing would go to plan.

Nothing ever did anymore. Ever since that night her life had been falling apart because of one stupid mistake. She couldn't control anything anymore. She couldn't do anything.

"What was that?"

Blair turned to face her brother, all emotion wiped from her face.

"What was what?"

Tyler was silent for a moment.

"What is it going to take for you to understand that you don't have to lie to me?" he finally asked. "I am the one person that will love you unconditionally."

"You do realize that's not exactly what I want to hear," Blair said. "No one wishes to be only loved unconditionally by their family."

"I won't judge you."

"What exactly are you insinuating?"

"Why are you here?" Tyler asked.

"I can't just come for a visit?"

"You have an agenda for absolutely everything," Tyler said. "And don't tell me that public theater back there was for nothing."

"You're coming very close to accusing me of something," Blair said darkly.

"I'm not accusing you of anything," Tyler said. "Just tell me something real."

"I'll tell you something real." The moment she said it, Tyler knew everything was going to go horrendously wrong for him.

Tyler felt himself shrinking as Blair took two measured steps towards him. He knew that face. And that face was not his friend.

"I'll tell you something real, little brother," Blair started succinctly. "Women are smarter than you."

Tyler felt his eyes widen uncontrollably at the blunt statement.

"And we're smarter than your friend Chuck."

"_My_ friend Chuck?" Tyler emphasized.

"I'm just reminding you your place."

"And what has warranted this?" Tyler asked. "You don't need to exert your dominance. Especially over me."

"I don't trust him," Blair said simply. "And if you do, that just means I will have to increase my efforts."

* * *

><p>Of course, Tyler found Chuck at a bar. When he saw his friend's slumped posture, all the incredulity and suspicion of that night had melted away. He knew it had to do with Blair's cold proclamation, which answered literally none of his questions.<p>

But it did remind him of one thing. Chuck was his friend. He was someone who had always stood with him. And he was clearly going through something.

Tyler sat down next to Chuck. He gave no sign that he was aware of Tyler, but they both knew he did. Tyler sipped on a cocktail for a moment before speaking.

"Blair hates you."

Chuck still didn't look over at him. "I know."

"She doesn't trust you."

"True."

"Give me a reason not to."

It was the most honest thing that he could say. Blair was right. Chuck was known for disreputable things. Tyler knew Chuck could give him a million reasons to end the friendship right then and there.

"No."

But he didn't. There was one thing that Chuck cared about in the world and that was Tyler Waldorf. Even after that night and many nights before it, Tyler knew that would always be true. And no matter what Blair said, nothing could change it.

"The two of you really do have ugly friction," Tyler said honestly.

Finally, Chuck looked over at his friend. For the first time, he cracked a smile.

"I know," Chuck commented. "We really do."

* * *

><p>She knew it had to be him.<p>

No one announced his arrival, but at the creak of the door, there was no doubting it.

"You planned that spectacularly."

There was a pregnant pause after her statement. She turned in her chair at her vanity to see Chuck standing in her doorway.

She was sure his silence had to do with the fact that she was wearing her sleep lingerie.

It was his own fault for coming this late. He knew how inappropriate the hour was. That was probably his plan. Finally his eyes snapped back to attention.

"I actually didn't know you'd be here," Chuck admitted, stepping closer towards her, "but that doesn't mean I wasn't pleasantly surprised."

"If you didn't know then what were you doing there?"

He always had that element of surprise. They both knew how much it irked her that his mind wasn't on her all the time. In fact, she should be pleased that he wasn't obsessing over her. But what she really wanted to know, he wasn't telling.

"Maybe it was intuition," he offered.

But the way Tyler was still talking to her and her mother hadn't disowned her yet—she knew the answer to her question before she even saw Chuck. She knew it the moment she got home.

"You didn't tell," Blair said.

"I didn't tell."

"I should have known." Blair said bitterly. She should have known that he would use her own emotions against her and she should have known that if he wanted to humiliate her, she wouldn't have had to come all the way back to New York for him to do it.

"But you came anyway," Chuck said as though reading her mind.

"That's what this was about?" Blair demanded. But even her voice sounded false to her. The truth was, she knew. She knew that all he wanted was to bring her here.

"What else?" Chuck was grinning for the first time that she could recall in her lifetime and it made her ill. He had planned this entire thing.

It was all a test.

"You think you're so smart," Blair sneered, getting to her feet. She was in her bare feet and had to look up at him to make eye contact. But she knew he wasn't the dominant one. "Well let me tell you something—"

"Tyler relayed the speech to me."

He was sure that it wasn't having the effect that Blair wanted it to have.

"Then let me tell you something I neglected to tell him," said curtly.

Now she had his attention. Both of them knew that. She would tell Tyler certain things because he was her brother. But this was Chuck Bass. There was nothing that she wouldn't hold back from him. She would always put him in his place.

"Taking advantage of a woman in a vulnerable position isn't considered chivalrous," she said.

"That wasn't my intention."

"Manipulation and deception," she acknowledged.

"Something you respond well to," he noted.

"You got my attention," Blair responded. "Now you'll wish you hadn't."

"You might need me more than you think you do," Chuck answered. It wasn't a warning. It was just his opinion. And he was sure that she would realize it too.

They were closer than they had been since the party. He could breathe her air and she could smell his natural musk. She hadn't realized how close they had gotten until that moment.

She smiled coolly."Don't count on it."

* * *

><p>She heard his footsteps before she even saw him. Normally, her heart would jump out of her chest at the sound of devious footsteps.<p>

But Blair knew it was just her brother.

"You're still here." Tyler sat across from her at the breakfast table, tugging aggressively into a piece of bacon. Blair herself had her customary plate of grapes.

"Love you too, brother," she said fondly. But even then, she knew that Tyler wasn't having it. She knew that her being here was agitating him and she didn't even want to entertain the idea of what that could mean. She already had her panic attack for this trip and he was right.

"Shouldn't you be at school?"

She needed to leave soon.

"And you used to be such a nice boy," Blair teased.

"I'm seventeen," Tyler said seriously.

She needed to leave now.

"Does that mean you're responsible for the company you keep now?" Blair found herself snapping. She was tired of being punished for something that she knew Tyler was unaware of. He may have suspicions that he was being lied to, but that was just a Waldorf trait. He should get used to it.

"You know what you're doing," Tyler told her.

"I'm looking out for you," Blair said honestly.

"Like our father was looking out for me? Looking out for us?"

"That has nothing to do with this," Blair said in annoyance.

"It has everything to do with it," Tyler argued. "You can't stand Mom and you're the most like her."

"I suppose you're the most like Daddy, then."

"Self-loathing is in our blood," Tyler retorted.

She didn't really want to understand the connections he was trying to make. Maybe he hated Harold, but that was no reason to drag her and Eleanor into it.

"Well you don't have to worry," Blair said coldly. "I'm going back to New Haven this afternoon."

"I'm not worried," he smirked. "Are you?"

She didn't like that look. That look usually accompanied sexual innuendo and overtures of lust.

He was becoming more like Chuck Bass than she was comfortable with.

"You're worried that I'm like Mother and take pleasure out of tormenting your friend," Blair illuminated.

"Are you insinuating that you're able to torment him?" Tyler asked coolly.

"You always know more than you let on."

"I don't know anything about this."

She knew what he was talking about. It was the thing that all of them refused to talk about even though it was clear how many secrets they were keeping from each other. But Blair knew he was being honest with her. Discounting the New Years embarrassment, Tyler and Blair never lied to each other. That was probably why he could see her discomfort so easily. But it also told her that he was telling the truth.

He didn't know anything.

"Don't you have a boyfriend?" Tyler asked bluntly.

"Does that limit me from seeing my brother?" Blair smiled sweetly. But Tyler could always see through it.

"It should limit you from coming down here every weekend."

"Worried I'll embarrass you?" Blair asked.

"I'm worried about what happens when fire meets gasoline."

Blair ignored that comment. "Since you're so inquisitive, I don't think things are working out with Nate."

"Because of Serena?" Tyler asked it in the way that made it clear he knew the answer.

"What are you talking about?" Blair asked. But it ignited something in her. Chuck was extorting secrets from her brother and she hated him for it. "That's the reason. That's the exact reason what I'm talking about."

"Are you telling me who I can and can't see?" Tyler asked doubtfully.

"I know that makes the Devil of uptown all the more attractive, but no. I'm just telling you, don't be surprised. He isn't like us."

"Like us?" Tyler asked, his light demeanor evaporating instantly. "Because I think he's exactly like you."

"That's your opinion," Blair said stiffly.

Even when he wasn't in the room, Chuck Bass was ruining her life.

* * *

><p>Tyler found Chuck at the window. He didn't know what this relief was, but suddenly he felt calm. He was calmed at the sight of Chuck watching Blair's car pull away from the curb. It was the unnamed tension that made everyone on edge. And he knew it radiated from his best friend.<p>

"Sightseeing?"

Chuck turned to look at him with a smirk.

"Is it a crime to look? If that's the case, the cells would be overcrowded from the amount of men that look at your sister."

"I thought maybe they'd reconciled," Tyler mused.

"They?"

Tyler wasn't sorry about it. The truth was everyone knew that Blair and Nate were only good for each other on paper. Even Blair on some subconscious level knew that. But that didn't mean anything. He expected them to get back together. He expected that of Blair.

"You know Blair," Chuck replied.

Tyler looked at his friend. There was something about his tone that he didn't like. It was too familiar, like Chuck knew her better than Tyler did.

He didn't like that at all.

"I do," Tyler responded curtly.

"You hoped they'd reconcile."

"It would be easier," Tyler simply. But that said nothing for his hopes.

"Easier for whom?"

That was always the question. It was everyone's motives that were uncertain.


	14. Winter XIII

A/N: So yes, I have not been updating frequently. I think we just have to accept that I am the worst but am not giving up on this ever. I'll try my best and see where it gets us. Anyway, here's the next chapter.

Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me. Characters are Gossip Girl and belong to respective artists. Thanks to suspensegirl for the beta.

* * *

><p>Blair was getting tired of slamming the door to her dorm. She was tired of Sloane's knowing eyes. Most of all, she was tired of losing. She was never supposed to lose. That wasn't her. But she felt control slipping more from her fingers than ever before.<p>

The last thing she wanted to do was relive past events. But that seemed all she could ever do.

"How was it?"

Sloane sat cross-legged on her bed, highlighting her Psychology book.

"A wasted trip," Blair said sharply.

At that, Sloane looked up immediately. She studied Blair.

"You shouldn't have underestimated him."

"Like it seemed possible that I would go home to find that I was a part of some sick social experiment," Blair replied bitterly.

"He wanted to know what you'd do," Sloane assumed.

"He's getting to be a mild annoyance."

"You know it's more than that."

"Do I?" Blair asked.

"Blair," Sloane said sternly. "You know what he wanted to know."

"I fell into his trap," she said begrudgingly.

"That's it?"

"What do you expect me to do?" Blair exclaimed.

"That kid has feelings for you," Sloane reminded her.

"He's delusional."

"It figures that the one thing that would tame Chuck Bass would be the power of Blair Waldorf's cunt."

"_Alright_," Blair snapped. She didn't like how this was obvious to everyone except her. She hated how bluntly obvious it was. Like a club to the back of the head. "I have to get ready."

"For?" Sloane asked.

"Nate's party."

"You're going to that?" Sloane asked in surprise.

"Aren't you?"

"You know he's Princeton's friend," Sloane said in answer.

"You mean client," Blair corrected.

"Whatever. I'm not Nate's ex."

"Maybe I'm not either," Blair said stiffly.

"You're getting back together?"

"I think I already have."

Sloane snorted. "No wonder Chuck called you back home with his siren's song."

Blair hadn't seen Nate since she returned. She wasn't sure if spontaneously showing up to his party was going to work completely in her favor, but it was too late to go back.

She had committed to Nate and as a result, this party.

Stepping into the room made Blair realize something. Sometimes Blair missed the Upper East Side. As a girl, she loved the gatherings that her parents allowed her to attend. There was a time when she was bright-eyed and taken away by the glamor of it all. But now it was her home.

College parties just didn't seem to do it for her.

"You don't look like you want to be here."

Blair didn't really need Sloane pointing out things she was already aware of.

"You don't have to do this."

"I'm not doing anything," Blair answered shortly. It was the first time that she could ever recall being relieved to see Sloane's boyfriend.

Princeton made his way towards them, a smile on his face.

Putting her arms around him, Sloane kissed him hello.

"Blair," he greeted.

"Hello, again."

"Could you attempt to mask your judgment?" Sloane asked in annoyance.

"What judgment?" Blair asked.

"Actually, I do have something to attend to," Princeton admitted. "I'll be back."

Blair and Sloane watched his back as he walked back into the crowd.

"Don't say it," Sloane warned.

"Like I said," Blair answered. "I'm not saying anything."

In fact, Blair said nothing as she watched Sloane's boyfriend attend to the business he had – with her boyfriend.

Princeton discreetly walked up to Nate. Blair watched in disgust as they had a clear exchange of money.

"I'm getting a drink."

Blair couldn't help but feel as though she were in some universe of chaos. Nothing made sense anymore. Nothing wanted to. She wanted to blame Nate for this tailspin but all she felt was her own brain imploding.

By the time Blair reached the bar, she realized a drink was the last thing that she wanted.

"I didn't invite Serena."

She shouldn't have been surprised how persistent Nate was being.

Blair turned around to see his hopeful face.

"Do you want a medal?"

And yet, Nate still had the inclination to look disappointed at her.

"I'm really trying here, Blair."

"Good."

"I don't know what else to do," Nate said.

"I'm not asking you to do anything."

"That's the problem."

"What problem?" Blair asked. She was stricken suddenly with whatever tone he was invoking. He was acting as though she were the one that was acting out of the ordinary and being completely unreasonable.

"Where were you this weekend?"

"I went home," Blair said. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"You didn't tell me."

"You didn't tell me you fucked Serena but that seemed to come out all right in the end," Blair retorted. It was easier that way. Blaming him stopped her from blaming herself. She could keep the higher ground. But despite everything, she felt herself slipping.

"How much longer are you going to keep punishing me?" Nate asked. "You know I'm sorry."

"That doesn't change what happened."

"Then what are you doing here?" Nate asked.

"I'm trying to," Blair answered.

"Why do you have to try? Did something happen—"

"I'm trying to forgive you, Nate," Blair said curtly. "I thought coming here tonight would help. But just because you didn't invite Serena doesn't mean she's not here."

It was only when Blair moved away from Nate did he catch sight of her. He hadn't even noticed her, but Blair walked right past Serena, once again, ignoring her very existence. And again, Nate found himself face to face with the girl he thought he always wanted.

"What are you doing here?" Nate asked quietly.

But for the first time, he didn't recognize the look on Serena's face. It was something that seemed closer to how Blair looked.

"Nate," Serena said curtly. "This isn't going to happen anymore."

"I don't…"

"I didn't come back for you," Serena continued swiftly. "You're Blair's boyfriend and she loves you. That's the way things are supposed to be."

Nate was unsure of what else to say.

"I didn't invite you," he repeated.

"I told you I'm not here for you," Serena said simply. He stared after her as she walked towards Blair.

Blair didn't miss it for a moment. Her stomach tightened as she watched Serena brush off Nate in almost an indifferent manner.

Caught completely off guard, Blair couldn't help but stare. She had never seen this part of Serena before. Serena was determined and not letting the wind blow her in any way it would. Blair couldn't move. She couldn't stop this.

But that didn't mean she was going to leave the power of the situation up to Serena. She prepared herself as the blonde made her way towards her.

She didn't even let the girl get a word in as Serena walked past Princeton and Sloane.

"Are you going to tell Nate?" Blair asked immediately.

Serena paused for a moment. This clearly wasn't the reunion she was hoping for, if this even was a reunion.

But she went with it. She always had to.

"Tell Nate?" Serena asked.

"I know you know," Blair said. "That's the only reason you went home before. Isn't it?"

Serena just looked at her innocently. The problem was, when Serena looked innocent, it was usually the truth. Blair hated that about her.

"About what I did," Blair finished. "My betrayal."

"What betrayal?"

"Serena."

"I just want to be friends again," Serena said honestly. "You're my best friend."

"Best friends don't sleep with each other's boyfriends," Blair said sharply.

"Though they apparently sleep with each other's brothers."

Blair herself had brought it up, but Serena's sudden turn around came as a bit of a surprise. Serena wasn't known for that sort of thing. But Blair still couldn't help but smirk bitterly.

"There it is."

"I'm not going to tell him," Serena answered. "What I did with Nate was a moment of weakness."

Blair sighed. "I'm not even mad at you."

"You're not?" Serena asked doubtfully. "Could have fooled me. You always had a talent for casting out your enemies."

"I had to on principle," Blair answered simply. "And I was hurt for obvious reasons. But then—"

"Then New Years happened."

"Don't romanticize this," Blair retorted.

"He has feelings for you."

"People need to stop saying that."

"Did he say that?" Serena asked.

"No," Blair answered.

"He will."

"This isn't some love story that literature major keeps sending you," Blair said coldly. "People like us can't feel for each other."

"Dan's sweet," Serena said. That's all she took from that. The sweet and genuine friend that Blair used to know was still there—even if she did commit the ultimate betrayal.

"But you slept with Nate."

"We were in a similar place."

"Well best of luck to you," Blair stated.

But Serena still continued.

"Dan and I aren't alike at all. But we're good for each other."

"Meaning?" Blair did not like the direction of this conversation.

"People who are alike work too."

Blair couldn't help but explode.

"He's your brother," Blair burst out.

"And what do you think Tyler will say?"

"You're threatening me now," Blair said darkly.

"I'm not," Serena insisted. "I just want you to be happy. And I know it's complicated right now."

"It will never stop being complicated," Blair answered. "He's forgotten about it. So have I."

"That wasn't what he said when you visited last weekend."

Blair froze. "You spoke to him?"

"He called me."

Blair still felt herself hesitating. It was the first conversation she had with Serena in months. And she wasn't even upset with her. All she could feel was confusion.

"I don't care."

She found herself saying that a lot lately.

She hated how Serena smiled at the statement.

* * *

><p>Blair knew that the way life was for her at the moment, there was no hope for the room to be empty. She slammed the door closed behind her, leaning against it.<p>

Princeton and Sloane were inseparable at this point. Even after everything. They were curled together on Sloane's bed. Blair wanted to be anywhere but there. It was clear there was no hope for that.

She was sure it would be Sloane that would criticize her for speaking to Serena again. But it was Princeton that spoke.

"Back so soon?"

Blair eyed him coolly.

"I figured you and Nate would be getting familiar with each other again."

Blair didn't know Princeton well enough for him to be speaking so candidly to her. But she was also aware that Nate would never say these things to her.

"And I thought it was my relationship."

"Is it?" Princeton asked. "It doesn't really seem like you want one."

Blair couldn't find the words to respond.

"After you've been torturing him so much…" Princeton started. "Well, I would have left you ages ago."

"Don't concern yourself with such trivial matters."

"Trivial?" Sloane prodded.

"I'm done."


	15. Spring: Lazy Eye

A/N: Let's just acknowledge that I am the worst updating, but I have not given up on this!

Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me. Characters belong to Gossip Girl and I don't remember if this had a beta or not.

* * *

><p>She hadn't heard from him. She didn't suppose that meant anything. It shouldn't mean anything.<p>

She had a boyfriend now. The sort of relationship built on trust and honesty and she knew that kind of relationship culminated in a Vanderbilt diamond and a classic church.

Chuck Bass hadn't called and she wasn't about to initiate. For the first time, she felt as though her life wasn't about to combust from the slightest movement.

And it concerned her.

It was the first time she didn't have to worry and that made her nervous. That made her suspicious of what this was—the calm before the storm.

She supposed that was what made her latch onto Serena. Blair didn't consider her a drama queen – at least one that needed conflict to survive. But Serena always provided a source of conflict and she found herself not hating her every time she watched the blonde breeze through campus.

The fact that she wasn't hanging all over Nate but someone else must have contributed to that. Even though Serena's choice of companion was horribly embarrassing.

"Blair." Serena didn't presume to have the overly friendly overtures that she would have in the past. But even so, that couldn't stop Blair from sneering.

Serena paid it no attention. "This is Dan."

"How charming," Blair sighed. "Like your very own scrappy pet."

Blair only deigned one glance at Serena's boy before returning her eyes towards the blonde.

"I'm standing right here…"

"Serena," Blair interrupted him. "It isn't too horrible seeing you."

"I'll take that as a compliment." This time Serena did smile brilliantly and for a moment, Blair actually felt something that wasn't disdain. She felt something close to remorse. She had been so awful to her best friend that the girl was grateful just to get the scraps that were offered.

"Are you here alone?"

"Not anymore," Blair smiled tightly.

"We can just get out of—" Serena's little pet really was skittish. Maybe that was the appeal.

"I was waiting for Nate," Blair finished. No recognition passed Dan's eyes and Blair had a sneaking suspicion that he was fairly ignorant to Serena's past.

She couldn't help but find that comforting. No matter what, Serena always seemed to be a rival to hers. No matter what – despite her refusal to admit this to anyone – she loved her.

"You're back with Nate." Serena was smiling again and Blair truly knew that her best friend was happy for her.

"For a while," Blair said coolly.

She could see Dan fidgeting like a rodent caught in a trap. The uncomfortable air between them was becoming more prominent and it was clear Serena was about to walk away with her new life raft.

She paused. "Can we talk sometime?"

Blair eyed Dan casually creating a distance. "Without the invalid."

Serena simply glowed and Blair couldn't help but hate her a little bit.

"Still kind of here," Dan muttered.

"Kind of," Blair snapped.

"Well we should be going," Dan spoke over her nervously. "College tours are starting."

"So?" Blair asked.

"Blair, be nice," Serena said gently. "Dan's a guide." She was proud of her little pet.

Blair as surprised at how familiar Serena was being but for the first time, she wasn't so adverse to it.

"Of course he is," Blair scoffed. "Scholarship student is a working boy."

Fortunately, Dan didn't have are witty remark to that. She was sure he was too intimidated. It was better that way. Especially with Serena on the ropes the way she was, any guy that was attached to her should be treated the same way. It was the only way to establish dominance.

Serena watched Dan leave and for the first time, she had sadness to her eyes. Maybe it wasn't good that Dan didn't know everything. Blair wondered if that was purposeful on Serena's part. Blair didn't think that she went for the judgmental types and suddenly, felt a flair of fierce protectiveness come over her.

Where did that come from?

Serena turned back towards her. "Don't you think you've tortured me enough?"

Blair sighed. "If I wasn't done I would have told him how you slept with my boyfriend and lied about it."

Serena raised her eyebrows. "But you're not?"

"Look, I've got to get going," Blair said, gathering her bag.

"I thought you were waiting for Nate."

"I've waited long enough."

Blair shouldered her bag. She paused, feeling as though there was some sort of necessary farewell that was in order. But the truth was, Serena was confusing her more than Nate ever had and she didn't know how to approach the situation.

"We'll talk soon," Serena said, not giving her a choice. "Without the invalid."

Blair couldn't help but smile at Serena's teasing. It was true that she missed her best friend but this was more complicated than she liked.

She walked by herself back to her room.

Blair knew for a fact that Sloane would be out for the majority of the day. When she arrived to find the room was unlocked, she couldn't be immune to the foreboding chill that crawled up her skin.

Blair eased the door open slowly.

She wasn't wrong.

"Hey, sister."

Tyler grinned up at her from his position on her bed under her framed Audrey Hepburn portrait.

She shouldn't have been surprised that he wasn't alone.

"How did you get in here?"

Chuck smirked. "Nice to see you too, Waldorf."

He was backlit against the window and she slammed the door closed behind her.

"Sloane let us borrow her key since she didn't think she'd be back until later."

"Sloane knows you're here?" Blair demanded.

"We forgot to thank her for her hospitality," Chuck said smoothly.

"I'm sure," Blair retorted. "What are you doing here?"

"College tours," Tyler said. "Remember?"

"No," Blair lied. "College week is in October."

"Well aren't you well informed," Chuck replied.

"Serena's new boy is a tour guide," Blair said sharply. "And I wasn't visiting so long ago myself. That still doesn't answer the question what you're doing here."

"I thought I'd fulfill our family's legacy and apply," Tyler said.

"Daddy went here."

"So?" Tyler asked.

"I thought you wouldn't want any affiliation."

"Just because Father went here doesn't negate the fact that it's an Ivy," Tyler said.

"And your sidekick?" Blair asked, refusing to look in Chuck's direction. "I thought he was allergic to education and bettering himself."

"We felt compelled to visit now," Chuck said pointedly.

"I thought Bart had you invested in a trade school," Blair sneered.

"Well the old man's dead," Chuck retorted. "I think his opinion is null and void."

At that moment the door swung open and all three of them swung around to see Sloane.

The girl's blue eyes widened as she surveyed the room.

"Weird vibe."

"That would have something to do with you inviting my brother and his bad influence into our room," Blair said in forced lightness.

Sloane rolled her eyes and threw her bag on the bed.

"I didn't think you'd mind. He is your brother. And…" Sloane cast a look at Chuck, "friend."

He winked.

"We weren't properly introduced," Chuck continued smarmily.

"You remember my brother Tyler," Blair said tersely.

Blair crossed her arms stubbornly, ignoring Chuck completely. He shrugged it off, extending a hand towards Sloane.

"I'm Chuck Bass."

She smiled. "Pleasure."

"I'm sure," Blair said sharply. "Don't you have a tour or something to go to?"

"And I thought we were here to bond," Chuck said.

"What would ever give you that impression?"

"You mean besides your welcoming arms?" Chuck asked.

"I don't have time for this."

"Look," Tyler spoke up. "We didn't mean to get in your way. We'll come back later."

"And why should we have to do that?" Chuck asked. "She's not being a very good hostess. Isn't that what you pride yourself on?"

"And what do you pride yourself on?" Blair asked. "The ability to get damaged debutantes out of their skirts?"

"Says the most damaged one out of them all," Chuck said. "Tell us when to come back so we don't interrupt you having your finger for dessert."

The air was deathly still. Blair couldn't help her sharp intake of breath. But he never looked away from her. Not for a second.

"Chuck," Tyler said sharply.

The room was still for only a moment.

"I think it is time for you to leave," Sloane said. She opened the door and Tyler walked out gratefully. Chuck lingered for a moment before taking his time to exit the room.

Blair didn't expect his attack, but she didn't move away when he leaned in.

"I love how every time I see you I think of sex."

Immediately, Blair slammed the door behind him, taking a shaky breath.

Sloane stared at her, both letting everything sink in.

It only lasted for a moment.

"Tell me exactly what happened," Blair demanded.

"What do you mean?" Sloane asked. "Right then? I would say some pretty twisted attraction."

"You invited them?"

"Of course not," Sloane said. "I saw them practically bumming outside our door. I was in a rush so I tossed them a key. It was a snap decision. And I didn't think you would be the one who had the right to be surprised here."

Blair stopped short.

"What does that mean?"

"He's in high school." Everyone seemed so smarmy to Blair today.

"So?" Blair asked. "You knew that."

"That was before I saw him."

"What does that matter?"

"Honey," Sloane said, "you've got a whole messed up soap opera going on here."

"I don't know what you expect from me," Blair said. "He's my little brother's best friend."

"You're in so over your head you can't even see it," Sloane said. "And that includes him being Tyler's best friend."

"Well don't worry about it," Blair answered. "Because it's none of your business."

Sloane was quiet for a moment, and for that, Blair was thankful. She hated him. She hated that with his mere presence he could rattle her and there was nothing she could do about it. What was dangerous was that Tyler had been in the same proximity when it was happening.

"It's cute."

Blair looked up in shock as Sloane broke the silence.

"_Cute_?"

Sloane shook her head. "He likes you. He's a high school boy."

"Clearly."

"How he baits you and sets you on edge," Sloane elaborated. "Even if I didn't know better, I would be able to tell that you don't actually hate each other."

"I do hate him."

"He's just a high school boy with his first love."

"Well I'm dating someone in college," Blair seethed.

The fact that Chuck Bass could ever have the emotional capacity to love anything that wasn't a glass of scotch or lax laws in Amsterdam was preposterous to her. It was preposterous to a degree that she didn't even want it uttered out loud.

"Until he finds out a high school boy has a crush on you," Sloane snorted.

"Nate cannot know Chuck was here." It wasn't a question. "That would be disastrous."

"Ooh, Chuck is it?" Sloane teased. "You've moved on from 'you arrogant bastard?'"

Blair just exhaled. "Chuck and Nate hate each other."

"Wait, they know each other?" Sloane asked.

"They went to the same school," Blair said. "Only a year apart."

"This just got so much more interesting."

"Chuck means nothing to me," Blair protested.

"It doesn't matter," Sloane replied. "You cannot hang out with some guy that your boyfriend hates and who also happens to be in love with you."

"Chuck is not in love with me." This was exactly what Blair was desperate to avoid. "He isn't capable of love."

"You slept with him."

"It was an accident." Blair was tired of going over this.

"God, Blair," Sloane said. "You don't accidentally fuck your brother's best friend. What did you do? Trip in the dark with all of your clothes off and roll around-"

"It was one time," Blair said hastily. She knew the stupidity of _accidental_ and she wasn't keen on exploring that visual. Ever again. "I just found out that Nate slept with Serena."

"You cheated."

"So did he."

"You cheated with your little brother's best friend." Sloane couldn't help but smile.

Blair had enough of the gory details.

"Once."

"You cheated with your little brother's best friend who's in love with you."

"He doesn't," Blair said darkly.

"And you know it."

"No."

"And you _liked_ it."

"Are you going to instruct me to how boys' brains work again?" Blair asked dryly.

"He's here after you slept together," Sloane said. "He wouldn't be here if he didn't. This just got a whole lot more complicated. Especially if he knows about you. And acts so casually about it. Nate doesn't even know."

"Know what?"

Sloane sighed sadly. "You mean you missed his charming parting words and insinuations."

"I assume you don't mean him blatantly sexualizing me." Blair felt herself deflate. "Nate would judge me."

"And Chuck doesn't..." Sloane realized. "You never told Nate."

"I never told Chuck either, but clearly he knows."

"He's observant," Sloane said quietly. It was obvious he wasn't the only one who was observant, but the only one Blair had an open dialogue about this with was Serena. And Dr. Sherman.

"You're right," Sloane concluded. "Nate can't find out he's here."

"So what do you propose?" Blair asked.

"Oh, what?" Sloane asked. "You want me to go on some sort of black ops mission with you?"

"No," Blair said. "That's what Dorota's for."

"Then what?"

"I'd rather not wait around for Chuck Bass to make his attack," Blair said.

"You think that's what he's here for?"

"No doubt in my mind."

* * *

><p>Serena really couldn't help the hope that bloomed in her chest. That had always been a reoccurring trait with her. She saw the best in people. She knew that Blair and her loved each other in a way that wouldn't just disappear. Blair was her sister. That was never going to change.<p>

Serena knew that in her heart. But she also knew that her best friend was stubborn.

She should have known better that it wasn't her knocking on the door.

"Chuck."

"Don't sound so disappointed," he drawled, passing her into the room without hesitation.

"Please, make yourself at home," Serena said dryly, shutting the door behind him.

"Expecting someone else?"

"Only always."

Chuck smiled at her and she had to admit that she didn't hate the sight of him.

Then again, there was never really a question of what he was doing here. He wasn't here for a social call and he definitely was transparent about what he wanted. As clever as he might be, there was only one reason why he would come to the Yale campus.

And it sure as hell wasn't for her.

"I must confess—"

"Save it," Serena said. "I really don't need to hear your excuse for whatever hidden agenda you have."

"Not so much hidden."

"My thoughts exactly," Serena said. "I assume Blair knows of your sudden if not totally transparent appearance."

"What makes you bring her up?" Chuck asked.

"Chuck," Serena rolled her eyes. "Please. What do you want?"

Chuck smirked.

"What are you doing tonight?"

* * *

><p>Blair was becoming slightly jaded with these gatherings that she was finding it harder and harder to bring herself to. It was becoming a glaring fact that her image of Yale had been slightly glamorized.<p>

Of course there were the secret societies and classes that you could only get at an Ivy League. But she was still being dragged to frat parties on the arm of a boyfriend she should want to marry, but honestly was just paranoid about him finding out the uncomfortable truth about her.

It was a truth that was becoming very disconcerting with the fact that everyone seemed to know about it—and not even because they were told. She was just that transparent.

In the middle of the party, Blair checked her Cartier watch discreetly for the fourth time that night.

"Somewhere you need to be?"

Blair was fully prepared to toss Nate a practiced excuse like she found herself doing far too often lately. But his voice seemed quite far off and she was sure that had to do with the two uninvited partygoers that had just walked in.

Blair was sure that Serena could get herself into any party that she chose. It wasn't even a fact that Blair was annoyed about the notoriety she was supposed to have or the fact that Serena was so seamless in all social interactions.

It was the guest that Serena had brought that set Blair particularly on edge.

But then again, Blair was sure that had been Chuck's intent.

"Excuse me," Blair said sharply before turning away from Nate.

She found Sloane almost instantly as though the blonde had been looking for her as well.

"She knows she's on probation."

She felt Sloane's gaze, knowing that they were both aware of the fact that wasn't even the issue.

"What are we going to do?" Sloane asked.

"We?" Blair asked in genuine surprise.

Sloane's face was drawn and serious.

"I'll come up with something," Blair finally replied.

She never looked away.

Chuck's eyes locked with hers.

He smirked.


End file.
